


The Winding Paths Lead Us Home

by Raven_Jadewolfe



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:54:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24876505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven_Jadewolfe/pseuds/Raven_Jadewolfe
Summary: Sisters learn that life isn't always a straight line and sometimes you have to take the winding path in order to find your way home.
Relationships: Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale, Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen, Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Emmett Cullen/Rosalie Hale, Jacob Black/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

Returning to the world of Twilight...what the fuck is wrong with me? Considering I still haven't managed to snag the rights to any copyrighted material? I'd say a lot.

A/N #1: This humble hobbit self betas and will attempt to fix any errors as they are found

A/N #2: As per my previously established SOP, there will be foul language, adult situations, and violence. If you're not old enough to vote, you are not legally permitted to read my work.

Thirty Seconds to Mars: Rescue Me

WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T EVER PLAY MY GAME

TOO MANY YEARS BEING THE KING OF PAIN

GOTTA LOSE IT ALL IF YOU WANT TO TAKE CONTROL

SELL YOURSELF TO SAVE YOUR SOUL

RESCUE ME FROM THE DEMONS IN MY MIND

RESCUE ME FROM THE LOVERS IN MY LIFE

RESCUE ME FROM THE DEMONS IN MY

MIND RESCUE ME,

RESCUE ME, RESCUE ME,

RESCUE ME,

RESCUE ME

WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T EVER LOSE YOUR FAITH

THE DEVIL'S QUICK TO LOVE LUST AND FAME

BETTER TO SAY YES THAN NEVER KNOW

SELL YOURSELF TO SAVE YOUR SOUL

RESCUE ME FROM THE DEMONS IN MY MIND

RESCUE ME FROM THE LOVERS IN MY LIFE

RESCUE ME FROM THE DEMONS IN MY MIND

RESCUE ME,

RESCUE ME,

RESCUE ME,

RESCUE ME,

RESCUE ME

SELL YOURSELF TO SAVE YOUR SOUL

YOU GOTTA SELL YOURSELF TO SAVE YOUR SOUL

YOU GOTTA SELL YOURSELF TO SAVE YOUR SOUL

YOU GOTTA SELL YOURSELF TO SAVE YOUR SOUL

RESCUE ME FROM THE DEMONS IN MY MIND

RESCUE ME FROM THE LOVERS IN MY LIFE

RESCUE ME FROM THE DEMONS IN MY MIND

RESCUE ME,

RESCUE ME,

RESCUE ME,

RESCUE ME,

RESCUE ME

Chapter 1: A Day in the Life

Bella

"Renee and Philip Dwyer will be sorely missed by everyone who knew the vibrant couple," Father Eugene proclaims solemnly amid the muted cacophony of sniffles and sobs echoing through the already blistering Arizona day, "But none shall feel their loss so keenly as their lovely daughters, Isabella and Vanessa. Bella and Nessie, to those of us who have been fortunate enough to gain their acquaintance. I can only speak from my heart when I-"

I stop listening as Nessie hiccups a fresh sob into Phil's jersey, which she has been holding in a death grip ever since we left the funeral home. A new wave of guilt and pain washes through me as I put my arms around her and draw her close. Whilst I stroke her bright auburn curls, I lean close enough to whisper in her ear, "Do you want to go to the car?"

Her head moves in affirmation against my neck, and I carefully help her to stand. The priest continues talking, clearly accustomed to such a sorrowful sight, but a hand at my elbow informs me that my father, Charlie, has been paying attention. I ignore the looks we garner from those gathered around us and allow him to lead us away from the pavilion that had been erected at the epicenter of the dual memorial.

Silently he escorts us back through the sun washed cemetery and toward the black sedan he had rented upon his arrival to Phoenix, then holds the door open while I half carry, half drag my heartbroken sister into the back with me.

Nessie curls up on the seat, once we are safely inside, her mass of wild curls fanning out across my legs as she releases her hold on her father's garment in favor of hiding her face against my stomach. Charlie takes his place behind the wheel and starts the engine before turning the air conditioner on high, it is almost 90F after all. I catch his gaze in the rear view mirror and mouth "Home. Please."

A single bob of his head is given and he pulls onto the road.

Nessie's breathing slows within minutes and I know she has fallen asleep, dragged under by the weight of her pain and exhaustion. I continue running one hand over her hair and wipe away my own tears with the other. Then, with a weary sigh, I close my eyes and allow my head to fall back against the head rest.

"Girls, we're here," Charlie gently declares and I look around blearily to find the familiar sight of our driveway staring back at me through the afternoon haze.

I permit myself a small stretch -to coerce my tired body back into motion- then nudge my younger sibling awake, "Charlie's brought us home Nessie. Time to go inside now."

Her visage shifts through several expressions before settling on morose resignation as she follows me out of the vehicle and into the too quiet house.

Inside the living room, my father looks the picture of awkward discomfort as Nessie plods by without a word and disappears into her bedroom. After her door closes, his dark eyes fall to me and they betray his uncertainty of what course of action to take. I gesture for him to accompany me into the kitchen, where I proceed to make a pot of strong coffee to share.

Once we are each grasping a full a mug and have taken a seat at the table, he coughs and fidgets a few times before finally asking, "So, how are you holding up kiddo?"

"Not so good," I confess with a sniffle while placing my hand into his proffered one, "Focusing on Ness helps. I mean I lost my mom and step-dad, which hurts awfully, but Nessie? On top of losing her dad, this is the second time she's lost a mother. A mother who legally adopted her less than a year ago. A mother who promised to always be there for her, no matter what happened in our lives. I can't even begin to imagine what this is like for her right now, living this nightmare."

"Poor kid," he slowly shakes his head and takes a sip of java before continuing,"Still, you have to give yourself some time to grieve as well, Bells. Renee was your mom too. And Phil...well you and he might not have been the closest, but I do know you were fond of each other. No one would blame you if you went to pieces a couple of times while you figured things out, especially me."

"I know dad. But I need you to please realize that I'm not deliberately hiding or masking my pain. The truth is, I'm still kind of numb to everything that is transpiring," I admit after a minute and a drink from my own mug, "Right now it strangely feels like they are just off on another one of mom's week long "spiritual retreats" or away for one of Phil's promotional meet and greets. I'm actually dreading the moment when it all finally hits me, because I know it's going to be ugly. But until that time comes, I'm going to use this feeling to get things in order. And keep an eye on Nessie."

"Well, you might like to know that, as of today, I now have all the legal papers signed and filed with everyone who needs a copy. So there won't be any problem with things like the insurance settlement or getting Nessie enrolled in school up north," he redirects the conversation, giving us both an emotional reprieve, "I should also tell you that your mom and Phil had a savings account set up for each of you girls, as well as a separate nest egg to help the both of you pay for college. Because you and Nessie are under the age of eighteen though, I have been given control of those accounts for the time being. We, I mean the three of us, are going to have to sit down and talk about it all once the two of you are ready to have that conversation."

My stomach drops through the floor. I had no idea that is what my father had been up to all morning, before the funeral, "I never knew any of that had been arranged. I had just expected that we were going to have nothing until I could work things out later. But then again, Phil did help me open my own checking account when I started working last school year. And he opened another one for Nessie over the summer, because her job at the kennel only paid through direct deposit, so maybe he could have put it all together for us. Mom certainly didn't, she's always been horrible with money. I can't tell you how many times I had to call in utility payments because she forgot they were due."

Before Charlie can reply, the door bell chimes and he excuses himself to answer the door in my stead. I'm grateful for his intervention, because I honestly don't know if I could handle yet another well wisher or a random baseball fan telling me how sorry they were for my loss.

Or worse, asking for a memento that I'm certain would find itself up for auction online.

I catch snippets of the conversation while I divest myself of my shoes, then duck into the laundry room for a comfortable pale blue shirt and pair of mom's elephant print harem pants to replace my dress and hosiery. I return to the kitchen, winding my hair up into a bun, just as my father walks in with several large aluminum containers in his grip.

"From a...Margaret?" he explains whilst setting them on the counter then taking a peek inside of each, "She said she was in Zumba class with Renee over the winter, until she broke a leg skiing in Tahoe. I didn't really understand what else she said, something about New Year's Eve and lava cupcakes. Any ideas?"

"I have no clue," I shrug a shoulder and begin retrieving a plate and silverware for him, "Mom took so many different classes and such over the years that it's hard to remember what she was involved with and when she did it."

Charlie notices that there are only utensils set out for one and motions toward the trays, "Aren't you going to eat?"

"I'm actually going to wait for Ness, just to make sure we both get something in our stomachs. Aside from too much coffee or soda, like she's been living on all week," I tell him before excusing myself for a trip to the lavatory.

A few hours later, an exhausted Charlie is dozing on the sofa and I am quietly packing away mementos that will be making the trip to Washington with us. Professional movers will come in here, later in the week, to pack up everything else we leave behind and move it all into a storage unit up north, where it will molder until Ness and can I muster the courage and energy to sort through the physical sum of our parents lives.

I reach for a triple windowed photo frame, first admiring the picture of Renee and Phil on the left, then the portrait of Nessie and myself on the right, before turning my attention to the large center photo which proudly displays, in all our sepia toned glory, the four of us dolled up in tacky Wild West regalia.

"I was so worried you hated me before that trip," Nessie quietly confesses from my right shoulder, and I swivel around to see she has also swapped her dress for a gray tank top and black calf length leggings, "All those times we had seen each other in the six months beforehand, you never spoke to me unless Mom made you put your book away."

"I never knew what to say," I admit sheepishly as I fold the frame closed and place it in the cardboard box, "You were kind of intimidating, before we met face to face. Mom had told me about all of the stuff you were into, like how you were a black belt in karate, a guitar enthusiast, and a junior daredevil. I was so shocked when Renee finally told me you were the ripe old age of twelve, which she conveniently forgot to do until we pulled into the lot of the park on the day we were to be introduced."

"All of this build up, all of these self imposed expectations I had set for myself-and you. And it was all because I had been anticipating you to be so much older. I certainly wasn't expecting this grand specter to merely be a fearless, bouncing puppy who seemed to chase life down and tackle it like it was her favorite chew toy."

She seems to absorb the information slowly, so I return to my packing until I hear, "So what kind of puppy was I? Pug? Labradoodle? Corgi?"

"With those wild pigtails you were wearing when we were introduced? Either a Cocker spaniel or a King Charles spaniel, hands down," I can't help the low chortle that escapes when the memory presses forward. She had honestly looked like a chibi cartoon brought to life that day, "You were so adorable, your hair bouncing all over the place as you ran circles around us. I spent the entire time kicking myself for building you up to be this unapproachable being when, in all reality, you were just this little kid with an incredible zest for life."

"Yeah, well at least I was an adorable puppy," she replies with a wan smile then gives me a hug before she shuffles into the kitchen.

A short time later she reappears, a mug of coffee in one hand, and assists in choosing what will be taken to Charlie's house. When the inevitable barrage of memories threaten to overwhelm our fragile psyches, we retreat back to the kitchen where I make each of us a plate of food then proceed to glare at my younger sibling until she agrees to eat.

Near midnight we make a promise to another to make an attempt at sleeping.

As we pad through the living room, we see that Charlie is awake and talking on the phone. He gives us a questioning look until I point to my room then mime my head laying on a pillow.

He answers with a thumbs up and tells us goodnight before returning to his conversation.

Nessie and I exchange the same sentiment before entering our own rooms. I'm too tired to worry or even feel sad so I merely crawl into bed, close my eyes, and allow myself to drift away.

In the morning, my father offers to fetch everyone breakfast while Ness and I resume packing, this time focusing on items from our respective rooms. It's an arduous process, deciding what to keep and what will end up in storage for who knows how long, but it keeps my mind and body busy. More importantly, it keeps Nessie busy.

Twice I hear my younger sibling slip out the back door to sneak a cigarette while Charlie is absent, but I refrain from scolding her mostly because she supplies me with a coffee refill upon each return.

I don't approve of her disgusting habit, but considering the other addictive-and more lethal-substances readily available in a big town like this, I refuse to start a fight that could lead her to them.

By the time Charlie returns with half a buffet, citing that he was uncertain what we would like, I have resigned myself to the fact that all but my most precious of books will have to be sent to the unit until I can find room for them. Otherwise trivial things, like clothing, school supplies, and various other sundries, would have to be left behind.

I stop at Nessie's door to inform her of Charlie's return and nearly gasp out loud. Her room is almost barren, aside from the large brown boxes which have been separated into two stacks against the far wall.

It takes a moment to notice that all of her karate competition medals, the pictures of our family, everything, has been stripped from the pale violet walls. Even the flower embroidered sheer drapes that acted as a pseudo canopy for her bed are missing from their usual place, with the bed itself dismantled and resting under her picture window.

She must have started this overnight, to have accomplished so much. That means she must have had trouble sleeping again. Damn insomnia.

Ness herself is rising from the floor, swiping at her eyes as she notices me standing in the doorway, "What did you need Bells? I'm almost done in here, if that's what you were wondering."

I dispel my awe with a shake of the head and gesture for her to follow, "Charlie brought an entire restaurant to eat and I don't want to be forced to throw it all away tonight, when we leave. And don't tell me you're not hungry because you've consumed four cups of coffee and zero calories this morning, which you know is a bad combination."

She blows out a beleaguered sigh but doesn't argue, so I keep my mouth firmly closed when all she manages to eat is a biscuit along with a spoonful of scrambled eggs and some sausage gravy drizzled over it all.

Afterward, we continue packing our things until I notice we only have two hours to get all of it in the mail today. Nessie and I swiftly label everything, then tape all of the boxes closed, while hoping that nothing of importance has been forgotten in the chaos of it all.

Charlie helps us load our belongings into his new rental, a big white pick up truck, and together we make the trek to the nearest shipping place. It costs an arm and a leg to mail the veritable mountain of parcels up north, but it still is cheaper than trying to take everything on the plane with us.

Thankfully time is on our side, at least this once, and we collectively agree to take advantage of the fact by showering and giving the house one last look over before heading to the airport.

Before we go, Nessie and I say our own goodbyes to our parents, and our lives, then I give my father the signal to turn off the main electrical breaker for the final time.


	2. Chapter 2

FYI: This hobbit owns no copyrighted material. I just use it all to entertain myself.

RANDOM REMINDER: Feed the monsters under your bed.

Au/Ra-Dance In the Dark

Shock shock horror horror

If you really thought that

Growing up would be easy

All that drama drama

Can make you wanna wanna

Lock your door and throw the key

Hide away Where you're safe

Where your heart Doesn't break

If you're afraid

It's okay Everybody's scared

So Dance in the dark

Dance with the dark

Dance in the dark

Party with your fears

Dance in the dark

Dance with the dark

Dance in the dark

Make it an art

You're hurting hurting

Closing the curtains

Wanna keep it a secret

Can't keep it bottled

Pain is hard to swallow

Can't cross your heart without bleeding

Hide away Where you're safe

Where your heart Doesn't break

If you're afraid

It's okay Everybody's scared

So Dance in the dark

Dance with the dark

Dance in the dark

Party with your fears

Dance in the dark

Dance with the dark

Dance in the dark

Chapter 2

Nessie

It took most of the summer for Bella and I to adjust to our new reality and accept that this was to be our new normal now. Charlie, a thousand blessings upon him, has assisted when and where he is able, but how does anyone truly help another overcome such a devastating loss?

Still, I have to admire his gentle stoicism. And his capacity to adapt to new, terrifying situations. And his ability to deal with two adolescent females and not end up in the psych ward.

I know this entire metaphorical conflagration can't have been easy for him to navigate, going from a somewhat carefree bachelor living alone to suddenly co-habitating with a pair of grief stricken teenagers. Especially when you consider that one of those teenagers he had only ever met in passing before this tragedy befell us. He's never really complained about any of it, surprisingly, aside from sporadically ranting about the lack of hot water when he's went to shower. I don't think that counts though.

Against all the odds we have found a way to make things work, even through all of the rough patches each of us struggled to overcome in the beginning. The three of us have, finally, learned how to live together in a semi peaceful state and are making the best of what life has thrown in our path.

But now another challenge has presented itself.

School.

More specifically, high school.

Bella ostensibly tackles her return to the public education system with the same quiet strength she displays in the face of every obstacle, whereas I treat the whole process as if I am preparing for a prolonged siege campaign. I am aware of how melodramatic that sounds but let's not kid ourselves here, as much as we would like to.

School is, and will always be, a battleground where you only have three options available if you wish to survive the experience:

#1 Immediately mire yourself in obscurity so that you are not viewed as any kind of threat to the established hierarchy. This is the easiest route, one that Bella has mastered. Unfortunately choosing this approach will, on occasion, make you subject to the cruel games of the higher social tiers. Prepare accordingly.

#2 Claw, bite, and connive your way into becoming a member of the "popular" echelon, a place commonly reserved for star athletes, aspiring influencers, and other affluent personalities. This is also the most difficult route to endure, fraught with ever changing pitfalls, potential snafu's, and zero trust because everyone is clamoring to take the Alpha position.

or

#3 Do something incredibly stupid, be eaten alive-metaphorically, usually- then essentially be banished as a pariah which, subsequently, forces you to spend your entire journey through school hovering amongst the farthest reaches of known adolescent social circles. This is a path usually discovered by accident and not recommended if one hopes to enjoy even a small portion of their school years.

Prove to me I am wrong. I dare you.

"Are you ready to go?" Bella interrupts my train of thought, her battered haversack already slung across her torso and the keys to her "new" truck in hand, "We still have to pick up our revised schedules before class starts and I don't want to be late on the first day."

I'm nowhere near prepared for what plethora of horrors this day is going to hold in store for me but I close my journal, gather my things into my back pack, and wave her onward, "After you madame."

She throws me an exaggerated eye roll before leading the way.

The student lot is absolutely groaning with vehicles when we arrive, but my elder sibling manages to find an open space nestled under a large shaggy evergreen. She begins muttering under her breath the instant we are parked, dark eyes balefully glaring at the fat drops of rain that had decided this very minute was an excellent time to launch a sudden assault upon the wind shield.

"We could always go home and try again tomorrow," I unhelpfully offer whilst collecting my bag, smirking when she gives me a sideways glance, "Or maybe we could consider transitioning to homeschooling and thus avoid any and all forms of inclement weather altogether? It would give us more time to go hiking, admittedly. Well I'll be hiking while you faceplant every ten feet until you find a secluded spot to hide -I mean read- but tomato, tamata."

"Brat," she huffs and reaches for her own belongings as I chuckle mischievously. I then watch her take a few deep breaths before she grimaces and reaches for the door handle, "Let's just get this over with before I remember how much of a coward I am."

"You're not a fucking coward," I mutter as I follow her out into the deluge.

We share an umbrella for the duration of our journey to the main office, then spend at least ten minutes being bombarded with the secretary's idle gossip before we are able to escape with our class schedules in hand.

After wandering through the maze of hallways for an eternity, we each somehow manage to find our assigned lockers and stow anything unnecessary before resuming the quest to locate our respective home rooms. We eventually discover mine housed amongst the foreign language rooms whilst Bella's, cue the angelic choirs, ends up being within the library itself.

She leaves me with a hug and a reminder that she is carrying her mobile before being swallowed by the throng of bodies.

With a sigh of disgruntled resignation and a prayer to whom -or what- ever happens to be listening, I enter my assigned room.

The teacher, a portly fellow with deep laugh lines and tired eyes, promptly accepts my paperwork with a smile then instructs me to find an open seat just as the badly scripted 'Welcome Back to School' speech commences over the antiquated intercom system.

I not quite zombie shuffle through the herd of fellow ninth graders and place myself as close to the exit as possible whilst tuning out the growing din of whispers that have erupted in the wake of my appearance. I'm used to the uproar because, as the child of a major league baseball star, I've been the new kid more than once in my short life. I thoroughly hate it, but there is nothing that can be done except wait for it all to fade away. Thankfully, everyone is too caught up in exchanging theories about my identity with one another to bother me directly.

Minutes, and what feels like a hundred school announcements, later the bell rings, releasing the hormone riddled pubescent masses to seek out their first classes of the day.

I meander through the clogged arteries of the outdated and overburdened establishment, forgoing the near panicked bustle that appears to be the standard for the locally grown underclassmen. I do learn relatively quickly though that Forks High is nowhere near as large as my last school, a fact which I am finding myself thankful for, as I finally catch sight of my Biology room.

I repeat the process of having my papers looked over and signed by the elderly science teacher, then make my way to one of the still empty black lab tables situated beside a window and claim a seat.

As the room slowly fills to capacity, I retrieve my book and other required items, as well as my digital voice recorder so that I will be able to review the teachers lecture while doing homework this evening.

Just as the class is called to order, a boy slides into the seat beside me with boneless ease whilst grinning like a fiend. I ignore his snickers and muttered comments to a kid sitting behind us until he nudges my elbow, "Hey, you're Vanessa Dwyer, aren't you? I've seen you and your sister on tv with your dad a few times. Before he died, I mean."

And so it begins.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," I reply and resume ignoring him as the teacher outlines the class curriculum for the semester and I take notes of important dates.

The next interruption comes only moments later, this time from the kid at my back, "Is it true your dad was killed because he stole money from the mob?"

I roll my eyes but deign not to provide an answer to his bout of verbal diarrhea.

Another boy attempts to garner my attention soon after, but the teacher scolds them for speaking out of turn before I have to say a word.

I'm unbelievably grateful when the bell signals the end of the period and I make a brisk exit before anyone has a chance to bother me further.

Second period is much easier to tolerate, as is third. Fourth is a breeze, as it is Phys Ed, where all it takes for the other students to stop asking inane questions is a single "accidental" volleyball to the face of their designated spokesperson.

Bella finds me on the way to the cafeteria, looking as if she is seriously beginning to consider my idea of homeschooling as an alternative to immediate flagrant homicide. I wisely choose to keep quiet while she leads us through the lunch line, then toward an open table. We take a seat opposite one another and I chance a swift peek around before I begin my interrogation.

"What's the ma-" is all I manage to get out though before several someone's collectively shout "Bella! Over here!"

I watch as my sister's cheeks bloom a vibrant cherry pink while she swivels around in her seat to acknowledge the group of people demanding her attention. "I told you once already guys, I'm sitting with my sister today."

"Well, bring her over too!" one dark skinned boy commands with a bright smile while his companions raucously cheer their agreement, "I promise we'll be gentle with the little greenhorn."

I can tell my elder sibling is torn between her stalwart loyalty to me and her desire to join her newfound friends, so I grab my bag and lunch tray as I rise to my feet, "Your adoring fans have spoken Bells, let's not keep them waiting. Who knows what havoc they will wreak if you leave them on their own for too long."

"Are you certain you don't mind?" she inquires, a tinge of nerves coloring her tone, as we begin to traverse the short distance, "I would be more than happy for us to just sit by ourselves, if you wanted. I don't want you to be uncomfortable or anything, because I know this is all new for you too."

"I am fine," I emphasize each word before turning to address the table, arms flung out in a flourish, "Guys, gals, and all my nonbinary pals, your pleas have been heard and answered. The one, the only, and the totally fabulous, Bella Swan has arrived."

Laughter erupts as everyone shuffles around to make room for two extra bodies at the long table. I find myself propped in the corner, next to a slight girl with glasses. She smiles at me after I situate myself and offers a hand, "Hi, I'm Angela Weber."

I pump her hand once, smiling as we let go, "Nessie Dwyer. Greenhorn, professional smart ass, and Bella's less sane little sister. Pleasure to make your acquaintance on this soggy day."

A blond boy, who is seated several people down the row, spins around at my words, his blue eyes alight with curiously, "Any relation to Phil Dwyer? The former shortstop for the Diamondbacks?"

"Never heard of him," I blithely lie through my teeth as I reach for my bottle of juice, my stomach clenching with a dire warning, "But I'm not really a fan of football, sorry."

He gives a dismissive shrug and turns back to Bella. I push my tray of uneaten food away, no longer the least bit hungry, and allow the conversation to float over my head until things fall silent around the table.

"Who are they?" Bella inquires and I crane my neck to follow her gaze, then immediately snort at the sheer amount of make-up the new arrivals are all sporting. They look like they are made of plastic under these fluorescent lights. Or porcelain.

"Those are the Cullens," a bouncing brunette reveals, eyes glazed over with adoration, "They're all very mysterious-"

"They look like a bunch of reality show rejects. Just look closely at them for a minute, and you can easily see what I mean," I blurt before I can stop myself, then continue on despite the startled looks I receive, "Between the 'I'm so bored with life' botox inspired expressions, the blatant display of big name fashion label clothes they're "stuck" wearing to -cue horrified gasp- a pubic school, and the self righteous manner in which they carry themselves that silently screams out to everyone in the vicinity that we are merely peasants to be trod upon. They separately -and collectively- display every symptom of the disease the world at large calls Entitled Rich Kid Syndrome. I've seen the likes of them a thousand times, back in Phoenix."

The brunette blankly stares at me for a long moment -I swear I can hear water dripping in the distance- before resuming her speech as if I hadn't spoken a single word, "They are all the adopted children of Doctor and Mrs. Cullen, who own this really fancy old mansion on the north edge of town. He works over at the hospital and his wife owns a posh decorating business that specializes in super rare antiques or something. They all transferred here two years ago, from somewhere in Alaska, or maybe-"

"The catwalk ready blondes are Jasper and Rosalie Hale, Mrs. Cullen's niece and nephew, I believe," another girl gushes when the first falters, "The petite dark haired one sitting in the middle is Alice Cullen-she and Jasper are an item, by the way-and the hulking brute beside her on the right is Emmett Cullen. He's Dr. Cullen's third cousin, I've heard. Also, he and Rosalie are together. It's kind of weird, but they're not truly related or anything. And last one, sitting on the corner, is named-"

"Edward Cullen," the first declares wistfully, "And he happens to be the only single one of the bunch. He thinks he's too good for anybody in this school though, so don't start getting any ideas about chasing him."

"No worries there," my sister scoffs contemptuously as she picks at her chef's salad, "The whole high school dating thing is way more trouble than it's worth."

"You say that now, but maybe someone here will be able to change your mind," the blond boy at her side grins hopefully.

"Not bloody likely," Bella mutters, mostly to herself, before asking a question about history class.

With Bella sufficiently distracted, I grab my stuff then sneak out one of the side doors and sprint the short distance to the treeline for a quick cigarette. It doesn't take long to find a relatively dry spot so I spark a menthol and enjoy a moment of peace.

"Smoking will kill you, you know," a gentle tenor tinged with a southern drawl announces and I spin around to see one of the Cullen gang standing there, with his own lit smoke.

I notice the slight smirk on his face and can't help but flash one of my own, "There are worse things than death in this world—Jasper, right?"

"Got it in one darlin'," he confirms and leans back against a tree, "You're one of the new girls, I'm guessing. Can't recall which one you happen to be though."

"Nessie," I clarify with a shrug, blowing out smoke as I speak, "Nessa, if the other nickname is too childish for you."

"I'll try to remember that, for next time," he replies and runs a hand through his flaxen waves, "You know, I've always despised starting all over at a new school, no matter how many times I've done it. Everyone treats you like a shiny new toy the first few days, until they believe they can determine what kind of person you are. Am I right?"

"A thousand percent," I concur with a nod, "You're appraised like some kind of fashion accessory, or a new outfit. They try you on just to see how good you will make them look, then toss you aside once the newness wears off. But what do you expect from a society as shallow as ours?"

"Ain't that the honest truth," he laughingly agrees, then takes one last drag from his cigarette before crushing it out on the sole of his boot and stuffing the filter into his pocket, "Bell is gonna ring soon, you should get a move on, if you're going to class."

"Shit," I spit and scurry to dispose of my own smoke, pausing momentarily to offer my ziploc bag of spent menthols for his filter to be deposited in. He tosses the item in with another smile, then saunters back into the woods as I start my own walk toward the school grounds.

By the end of the day, I am utterly exhausted. Beside me, Bella looks like she hasn't fared much better. She does find enough energy to complain about Edward Cullen on the way home though.

Throughout the entire drive back to Charlie's she rants about how he melodramatically acted as if though she stank to high heaven for the duration of their biology class, then ran out of the room like his hair was on fire and his ass was catching when the period ended. She's mortified that it had all occurred in front of everyone, I can tell, even though she doesn't mention that little factoid.

But of course, in true Bella fashion, her insecurity manifests once we're parked in the driveway and she grabs my arm, "I don't really smell that bad, do I Ness?"

"Only if someone doesn't like the scent of vanilla and strawberries Bells," I assure her while quietly resolving to take my dad's weighted training bat to Edward Cullen's stupid head if he decides mistreating my sister is going to be a regular occurrence.

We find a note from Charlie hanging on the fridge when we get inside.

He apologizes for not being home after our first day of school and explains that an accident on the 101 will be keeping him out until late, so don't worry about waiting up. He also states that he's left money on the coffee table, just in case we wanted to order out instead of cooking.

My stomach growls mightily at the mere thought of food, so Bella pulls open the drawer containing the take out menus and begins listing each business until I opt for pulled beef hoagies and steak fries. She agrees and makes the call.

Twenty minutes later, a knock on the door pulls us from our homework. Bella answers the door while I sort the plates and drinks.

"Hi Jake," I hear her say and instantly abandon what I'm doing in favor of rushing to join her.

In the doorway, smiling as brightly as the sun, is Jacob Black, the object of my unrequited affections. Why unrequited? Because in a twist of fate that Shakespeare would be proud of, Jake only has eyes for my sister, who just happens to be completely oblivious to his infatuation.

I skid into view as Jake is transferring two delicious smelling bags to Bella, his eyes never deviating from her as he talks,"Yeah dad sweet talked my way into a job with Hank, helping him make deliveries a couple nights a week. It's not glamorous or anything, but it gives me a little more cash to put into the Rabbit, so I can't complain too much."

"That's great, I'm happy for you," Bella smiles indulgently, then spins around to speak to me, "Hey Nessie, guess who delivered our food? Jake here snagged a sweet deal making deliveries. That's not such a terrible job to start out with, is it?"

"I guess it depends on where you live," I tell her truthfully, "In Phoenix it would be a nightmare, but this area? Yeah, I can agree that it would be a pretty good job for people our age. You're lucky Jake, I haven't been able to get hired anywhere yet."

"Sorry to hear that," he barely spares a glance in my direction before returning his attention to my elder sibling, "So are you coming out to the rez with Charlie this weekend? If you are, there is this really nice section of the beach I found that has dozens of tide pools scattered along it. Maybe we could spend the day investigating them together, like we did when we were kids?"

"I have to work all weekend Jake, I'm sorry," she sounds truly remorseful as the light in his gaze dims, "We could go some other time though. But we would have to bring Nessie along too, because she loves things like that."

"Sure Bells, whatever you say," his smile is, at best, feeble, as he reaches for the doorknob and begins staging his retreat, "Look, I've gotta run for now, more deliveries to make before I head home. I'll see you later."

Once the door is firmly closed and we hear the food truck rumbling down the road, I clap my hands together, making Bella jump about a foot into the air, "Well, that sure was awkward. Should I celebrate my utter and all encompassing embarrassment with some grandiose, idiotic gesture? What exactly qualifies as both idiotic and grandiose in this day and age? And just how moronic does said gesture have to be in order to immortalize my humiliation but keep me out of the running for a Darwin Award? Who would you suggest I consult on the matter? Dickinson? Bronte? Poe, perhaps?"

"YouTube," she deadpans without missing a beat, then spins on her heel and heads toward the kitchen with our food.


	3. Chapter 3

Insert snarky comment about this humble hobbit not owning any copyrighted material.

Rag'n'Bone Man-Human

I'm only human  
I'm only, I'm only  
I'm only human, human

Maybe I'm foolish  
Maybe I'm blind  
Thinking I can see through this  
And see what's behind  
Got no way to prove it  
So maybe I'm blind  
But I'm only human after all  
I'm only human after all  
Don't put your blame on me  
Don't put your blame on me

Take a look in the mirror  
And what do you see  
Do you see it clearer  
Or are you deceived  
In what you believe  
'Cause I'm only human after all  
You're only human after all  
Don't put the blame on me  
Don't put your blame on me

Some people got the real problems  
Some people out of luck  
Some people think I can solve them  
Lord heavens above  
I'm only human after all  
I'm only human after all  
Don't put the blame on me  
Don't put the blame on me

Don't ask my opinion  
Don't ask me to lie  
Then beg for forgiveness  
For making you cry  
Making you cry  
'Cause I'm only human after all  
I'm only human after all  
Don't put your blame on me  
Don't put the blame on me

Oh, some people got the real problems  
Some people out of luck  
Some people think I can solve them  
Lord heavens above  
I'm only human after all  
I'm only human after all  
Don't put the blame on me  
Don't put the blame on me

I'm only human  
I make mistakes  
I'm only human  
That's all it takes  
To put the blame on me  
Don't put the blame on me

I'm no prophet or Messiah  
Should go looking somewhere higher  
I'm only human after all  
I'm only human after all  
Don't put the blame on me  
Don't put the blame on me

I'm only human  
I do what I can  
I'm just a man  
I do what I can  
Don't put the blame on me  
Don't put your blame on me

Chapter 3: Lines in the Sand

Bella

"I don't know what you expect me to say, other than good riddance," Nessie exclaims defiantly as she sets down her coffee and cracks her stiff neck, "If Assward really did decide to move back to Alaska, we are all much better off for it. You specifically are much better off without some pretentious douchebag demolishing your self esteem every damn day."

I can't argue that Edward's absence over the last week has made me less wary of going to class, but part of me feels horrible over the idea that I may have been the catalyst for him abandoning his home and family.

Still, I had to wonder, what exactly was it about me that caused him to be repulsed enough to flee the state? There had to be something more relevant than a simple dislike of my choice in hair products.

"Did you ask Jasper about it during your most recent "lunch date"?" I query after deciding my English homework has been proofread quite enough for the morning and slip it into my bag.

"Yes, yes. I asked him and he fed me some bullshit story about Eddie boy having to deal with some personal shit that he couldn't get sorted before school came back into session," she replies with a pinched expression, "I knew he was lying and he knew that I knew he was lying, but I didn't push it because I honestly don't think he wanted to give me that sorry ass excuse any more than I wanted to hear it. But I promise that I will inform you the moment he says anything different, okay?"

"Yes, thank you. Shit! We've got to go right now!" I exclaim as I see the time on the wall clock and vault to my feet, nearly knocking my chair over in the process,"I promised Angela we would go over our Calculus homework together before class started!"

"Fine," my younger sibling grouses whilst hauling her bag onto her shoulder, "But I get to smoke in your truck on the way, since I can't go out before we leave."

I grimace but concede, anything to get her moving out the door faster.

Angela meets me in the lot, looking quite pensive as we step into the gray morning. The moment I am within safe hearing distance she spouts, "You won't believe who's back in town."

I instantly hear the hollow metal ringing sounds of Nessie banging her head off the hood of my truck echo through the air but force myself to ignore her antics for the time being, "It's Edward, isn't it?"

"Yep," she offers a sympathetic smile and a shrug as she pushes her glasses up her slim nose, "I thought you would want to know as soon as humanly possible, considering his actions the day he left."

"I have dad's bat in the truck, behind the seat," Ness reminds me upon abandoning her quest to permanently disfigure my ancient pick up, "If he opens his mouth and spews his bullshit at you just one time Bells, I swear it's going to be: Bang! Zoom! Straight to the moon!"

My lips quirk upward in response to her use of Phil's favorite line, "My hero. I'm touched, truly. But, my dashing heroine, before you go and get yourself arrested for felonious assault, could you maybe wait and see if he does something truly mind boggling such as, oh I don't know, behave and conduct himself like a normal human being?"

"I do not grok these strange sounds your mouth is making Bells," she ripostes with an impish grin, then waves me on my way, "I'm going to see if I can find Jasper and maybe get an idea of what we ought to expect out of Doucheward now that he's back home."

"No fights Nessie," I warn as we part ways.

"I swear I will not start a fight," she vows before disappearing into the foliage.

Nessie

Jasper is waiting for me at what has become our spot, but this time he is not alone in the minute clearing. His hulk of a brother, Emmett, is sitting above us on a tree branch with his head tilted back and eyes closed against the dull morning light.

"He and Rosalie had a bit of a disagreement this mornin' and he asked to tag along so she had some time to cool off," the blond man hastily conveys upon seeing my bewildered countenance, "Em, this is Nessie, the coolest freshman I've ever met. Ness, this is Emmett, the biggest man child I've ever had the misfortune of meetin'. Now that's over and done with, and I can get right along with tryin' to answer the questions I know are burning up that big brain of yours."

I force myself to wait long enough to light my cigarette before inquiring, "Is Edward going to pull his crap on my sister again? She's still a wreck after their last encounter."

"Before I reply to that, let me once again remind you that Edward Cullen is a fuckin' idiot," Jasper drawls, immediately earning a chuckle from above,"And my honest answer is: hopefully not. The good doctor and his missus had a long talk with Eddie boy about treating people with respect, especially kind young ladies like your sister, when he returned from his trip the other night."

"What Jas isn't telling you is that he and I had a more private chat of our own with Eddie later that same evening," Emmett interjects and I glance up to find him making his way down the tree, "And ours didn't include polite verbiage or threats to ship him off to a school in Europe until he learned to behave himself."

"Good," I chuckle as Jasper and I deposit our filters into my plastic bag, "Although I still kind of wish I could have gotten in a few shots on Bella's behalf."

"If he reverts to actin' like he did with her before he left, I will gladly tell him exactly for whom each hit represents during his next lesson in social etiquette, agreed?" Jasper extends a hand for me to shake, sealing the deal.

"Agreed," I accept while Emmett laughs evilly.

"I think I'm gonna like this one Jas, she's a little spitfire," the brute of a man comments as we begin walking.

"You say that now," Jasper quips with a wink at me, "But I know that opinion will change when you're screaming for her to stop beatin' your dumb ass over whatever stupid thing you did to piss her off."

"Who says I'm going to do something stupid?" Emmett retaliates, his face twisted with mock offense.

"You're talkin' aren't you?"

"That's not fair and you know it!" his pseudo sibling exclaims, throwing his arms up in exasperation, "How else am I supposed to communicate with people if I can't talk?"

"You could always try semaphore," I interject with a smirk, causing Emmett to freeze in confusion and Jasper to almost hit the ground laughing.

"What's that?" he finally probes once our trek resumes.

"It's a messaging system you use two hand flags for," I explain with a shrug.

He's quiet only a second before asking, "How do you even know what that is?"

Another shrug is given, "I saw it on Monty Python's Flying Circus once and looked it up."

"Wait, you know Monty Python?" he sounds completely astounded.

"What kind of girl do you take me for Emmett? Bimbo Barbie? My daddy raised his daughter right, thank you very much," I fire over my shoulder, inciting another round of mirthful chuckles from Jasper's direction.

At the treeline, we each give a wave before heading to our homerooms, still chuckling all the while.

Bella swoops down on me on the way to lunch, "And?"

"He should behave himself now," I qualify as quietly as I can manage in the packed hallway, "His parents threatened to send him to some school in Europe if he couldn't conduct himself properly. Then his brothers dragged his sorry carcass out into their yard, in the middle of the night no less, and beat his ass soundly. And on a side note, Jasper and Emmett both promised a repeat of their lesson if he ever forgets the first one."

I can visibly see the tension melt away from her thin frame just before she gives me a crushing hug, "Thank you Nessie. And make sure to thank them for me as well."

"I will," I state as she releases me and we join the line for food, "But you could also pull on your big girl panties and come out with me sometime so you can thank them yourself."

"I'll definitely think about it," she answers before changing the subject, "Angela and a few of the others want to have a study session after school tonight, for Friday's exam. I was going to drop you off with some dinner to share with Charlie, then head over. Are you okay with that?"

"I can endure one night alone with your dad Bells," I assure her, earning myself an eye roll and a smirk,"Whether or not Charlie survives the experience is an entirely different matter."

"You think you're so funny," she swats my arm before reaching for an empty tray.

"I am so funny," I fire back with a wink, "At least that's what everyone with low standards tells me."

"Brat," she finishes collecting her chosen meal and turns away to find her friends.

"And yet I'm still so irresistibly cute," I call after her impishly before following.

After eating, I head outside to meet Jasper and am surprised to see, once again, Emmett in attendance.

"What's up big guy? Still on the outs with the missus?" I greet him as I spark up a smoke and take a seat beside Jasper, "I've heard that jewelry, flowers, and copious amounts of groveling can solve those kind of problems."

"Nah, we worked it all out," he reveals with a smile, "Now she and Ali are making plans to go shopping in Seattle this weekend, so I made myself scarce before they could rope me into going too. Besides, I can see why Jasper comes out here every day to hang out, you're hilarious."

"Thanks, I'm here all week," I give a stunted bow, on account of being seated, "Skip the so called veal and make sure to tip your waiter before you go."

By the time we head back for class, Emmett and I are fast friends.

I admit that my nerves do wear on me the rest of the day, the apprehension of not knowing how Bella's class with Edward turned out constantly churning in the back of my brain. Thankfully Bella appears no worse for wear when she meets me at her truck.

"So do I need dad's bat?" I probe as she navigates us out of the lot and onto the street.

She shakes her head in the negative, a perplexed expression bleeding onto her features, "Not today Nessie. Surprisingly he was, well….nice. It's almost as if I were talking to a completely different person than last week."

"Does that mean you'll come with me tomorrow to thank Emmett and Jasper?"

"Yes, if only so you'll shut up about it," she replies before redirecting, "What do you want for dinner?"

"I thought about making dad's chicken hobo tacos," I tell her, earning a nod as she hits her turn signal, "That way, if Charlie has to leave in a hurry, he can take food with him."

"Good idea," she praises as she pulls into the lot of the grocery store.

Our trip through the store is quick and soon Bella drops me off with our purchases. I immediately get the ingredients assembled and in the oven, then start on my homework.

Charlie ducks in just after dinner is done, changing his uniform and grabbing his dinner before setting out for Harry Clearwater's and the latest sports game. I don't bother telling him that I'll be home alone because, in all honesty, the idea of spending a quiet night in sounds perfect.

Too bad the universe has made other plans for my evening.

About an hour after Charlie's taillights had faded down the road, there is a knock on the door. I push up from my seat at the coffee table and hobble my way to answer the summons, my legs clearly upset over the decision to sit on the wooden floor for so long.

"Yes?" I query as I swing the door open, then snarl, "What the fuck do you want?"

Standing on the front stoop is none other than Edward Cullen, in all his faux emo glory.

"Is Bella home?" he asks without preamble, his tone unexpectedly nervous sounding, "I'd like to speak with her a moment."

I reply to his inquest by slamming the door in his face, then engaging the deadbolt. I follow those actions with hurriedly finding Jasper's newly installed number on my phone and hitting the call button.

"What's up darlin'?" he answers on the second ring.

"Edward is at my front door right this fucking second, asking to speak to Bella," I spit into the phone, "So I guess harassment is going to be his new tactic. Tell your parents, his parents, whoever's parents, that they have ten minutes to come collect their fuckwit before I call Charlie and the entire Forks police force down upon his stalker ass."

"Carlisle is giving him a call as we speak," Jasper calmly assures me as I move to check the back door, "I'll be right over, so sit tight Ness."

"I honestly don't know if he's going to stick around that long, since I shut the door in his face," I have to confess and make my way over to the security alarm panel to activate it, "Either way, it's really creepy that he even showed up like this, considering I'm here alone."

"Shit kid, you're all on your lonesome?" he spews a few more expletives before adding, "You should have led with that info darlin'. I'm turnin' onto your street now."

"That was quick."

How fast does this guy drive?

"Carlisle and I were already in town when you called. You ought to be able to see the headlights comin' now, if you take a peek outside," he informs me and I pad over to the window hanging over the sink.

"Yeah I see them," I scan around but find no trace of the other Cullen, "I don't see Creepward anywhere though, so he probably took off. Hopefully he doesn't find out where she is and go there to harass her."

"I'm comin' to your door," he declares as I spy a lone figure moving from the newly parked vehicle and up the driveway.

I rush to open the front door and proceed to throw my arms around him as my bubble of anxiety pops, "Thank you for coming so fast. I was seriously starting to consider pulling out Charlie's gun."

"Not a problem Nessie," he gently wraps his arms around my shoulders and gives me a light squeeze, "Why don't you come out and meet Carlisle while he's here? I'm sure he'd like to hear for himself what transpired a little while ago."

"Alright," I agree and release my death grip on him.

He leads me over to where Dr. Cullen is waiting beside the still idling black Mercedes. The Cullen patriarch offers me a kind smile and a handshake when Jasper makes the obligatory introductions.

"I am truly sorry that Edward has caused you and your sister so much distress," he proclaims, surprising me with the pleasant timbre of a British accent, "My youngest son has had some difficulties of his own, as of late, and I sincerely believe that as a result he has not been thinking clearly. Otherwise he would have remembered how his actions could be interpreted by others."

"Dr. Cullen, please don't take this the wrong way, but your sonscared and demeaned my sister with his actions. In full view of the public," I respond as politely as I can manage at the moment, "Because of what your son did in front of the entire class that day, Bella is taking showers twice, sometimes three times a day now. He made her feel dirty and disgusting, inside and out, on her very first day at a new school less than six months after her mother and step-father died and she had to move halfway across the damn country to live with a father who had no idea how to take care of one teenage daughter, let alone two. Your son made her feel like she was less than a person when she has been struggling to put her life back together, take care of her little sister, and adjust to an entire new way of living. "

"So tell me, if it had been your family member who had been treated the way your son treated my sister, would you be as forgiving of his abhorrent conduct? Would you accept some lame ass excuse for the unconscionable actions that had been directed at someone you love? Could you be so understanding, especially now, knowing that he suddenly decided it was okay to visit the home of the victim of his inexcusable behavior, unannounced and uninvited, then boldly to asked to speak with her, like none of it ever happened? Like there have been no consequences for him to be responsible for?"

Jasper, who is standing slightly behind his adoptive parent, flashes me a smile and a nod of approval while the older man flounders to formulate a response. I return the gesture then force myself to tamp down the desire to ask him for a cigarette as the minutes tick by.

Finally Dr. Cullen finds his voice again, "No, I cannot honestly say that I would be as understanding or forgiving. So what would you have him do?"

"Bella's abject humiliation was exceedingly public," I state, earning a downtrodden nod of agreement, "I think, if he is truly remorseful about what he did, his apology ought to match the crime."

"I think-" he begins to say but I cut him off.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you sir, but I wasn't finished," I curtly disclaim, earning another grin from Jasper, "Now, after he does his whole public apology spiel, my sister will then be the one to decide, in her own damn time, whether or not she chooses ever to have contact with him again. He will not show up uninvited at our house or her work. He will not have his friends or family badger her at any time, for any reason. If he follows these rules to the letter -both figuratively and literally- then no one, not Charlie, and certainly not Bella, will ever need to know what happened tonight."

"I don't-"

"Still not done sir," I plow over his spluttering, refusing to lose the advantage, "But if Edward chooses at any point in time not to adhere to the perimeters which have been clearly outlined for him, I swear to every higher power there is that I will spill each agonizing detail of this fiasco to Charlie, who will then no doubt immediately set out to arrest your precious boy, wherever he may be. Including at school. Stalking is a crime, after all. And taking into consideration that Bella is a minor and the daughter of the local police chief, there is a very high probability he will be arrested with extreme prejudice. Then, once Charlie is done with him and he has been remanded into police custody, I promise you that your son will be hit with every criminal charge my family's excellent team of lawyers can dig up."

I proceed to look on stoically as the good doctor completely deflates before my eyes.

"I will discuss this with Edward as soon as we return home," he morosely announces once he has regained his composure, then all but dives into the car without saying goodbye.

Jasper gives me a quick double thumbs up before gesturing for me to go back inside. I comply, then watch the sedan make a U-turn before it rolls out of view.

I sneak a cigarette in the garage and make an attempt at some quick meditation to soothe my frazzled psyche before I force myself to return to my homework.

When Bella comes home two hours later, I've just stepped into the shower. I go to her room as soon as I'm dressed only to find her sprawled across her bed, fast asleep. So I carefully remove her shoes and toss a throw blanket over her before heading to bed myself.


	4. Chapter 4

Nope, still own nothing copyrighted.

Imagine Dragons-Bad Liar

Oh, hush, my dear, it's been a difficult year  
And terrors don't prey on  
Innocent victims  
Trust me, darling, trust me darling  
It's been a loveless year  
I'm a man of three fears  
Integrity, faith and  
Crocodile tears  
Trust me, darling, trust me, darling

So look me in the eyes  
Tell me what you see  
Perfect paradise  
Tearing at the seams  
I wish I could escape  
I don't wanna fake it  
Wish I could erase it  
Make your heart believe

But I'm a bad liar, bad liar  
Now you know  
Now you know  
That I'm a bad liar, bad liar  
Now you know, you're free to go (go)

Did all my dreams never mean one thing?  
Does happiness lie in a diamond ring?  
Oh, I've been askin' for  
Oh, I've been askin' for problems, problems, problems  
I wage my war, on the world inside  
I take my gun to the enemy's side  
Oh, I've been askin' for (trust me, darling)  
Oh, I've been askin' for (trust me, darling)  
Problems, problems, problems

So look me in the eyes  
Tell me what you see  
Perfect paradise  
Tearing at the seams  
I wish I could escape  
I don't wanna fake it  
Wish I could erase it  
Make your heart believe

But I'm a bad liar, bad liar  
Now you know  
Now you know  
That I'm a bad liar, bad liar  
Now you know, you're free to go

I can't breathe, I can't be  
I can't be what you want me to be  
Believe me, this one time  
Believe me

I'm a bad liar, bad liar  
Now you know  
Now you know  
That I'm a bad liar, bad liar  
Now you know, you're free to go

Oh  
Please believe me  
Please believe me

Chapter 4: Choice and Consequence

Bella

"What in the world did you do to your poor hair Ness?" I ask, gaping at the odd style my younger sibling is sporting at breakfast.

She flashes me a confused look as she touches one poofy protrusion with a hand, then snorts out a laugh, "What? You've never seen space buns? Maybe it's time you stepped away from the Jane Austen for a little while and said hello to this newfangled concept called the twenty first century, Bells."

"Not if I am forced to wear my hair like that," I riposte and rise to wash out my cereal bowl, "You look like you have a pair of dead guinea pigs stuck to your head."

"Then I probably shouldn't do this huh?" she reaches into her bag and proceeds to don a set of springy silver antenna which are topped with small glitter balls.

"Why are you like this?" I mutter in exasperation, dropping my face into my hand as she giggles fiendishly.

"Dad used to supplement all of my meals with copious amounts of lead paint chips, before you and mom came along and ruined everything," she quips airily between bites of pop-tart, "So any big plans on the docket today?"

I shake my head and place my bowl in the strainer, "I work tonight, remember? It's only for two hours though, since hunting season is coming on soon and I'm not old enough to process gun purchases. Why? Planning to take over the world again?"

"Nah, I learned my lesson the last time, after some of the damn squirrels staged a revolt," Nessie blows out a long suffering sigh and clutches a hand to her chest, "Rest in peace, my valiant minions, who gave their lives so I could escape and live on. You will never be forgotten."

I roll my eyes and grab my keys, "I swear I'm dropping you off the first cliff I can find."

"Is that before or after you slip and fall off of it?" she calls out as I start making my way out to the truck.

Honestly, I'm relieved when she bounds off into the woods upon our arrival at school. I'm not certain I'm in the right head space to deal with my energetic sibling this morning.

I meet up with Angela and the others, who are currently discussing a potential trip to Port Angeles after school on Friday. Since I don't work that night, I agree to join them once it is revealed that the small town boasts a handful of bookstores and other shops I would be amendable to visiting.

Mike, Eric, and Tyler all offer to play tour guide while on the trip, but Angela intervenes and insists that she will be doing the honors, as she will require my assistance with a personal matter whilst we are out on the town.

Eventually we make our way inside, with promises to cement our plans during lunch.

Nessie

Jasper and Emmett are waiting for me as I crash into our secluded spot, antenna merrily bouncing and a cigarette already in hand. My chosen accessory for the day draws strange looks, so I raise my hand in an old comedic greeting, "Nanoo nanoo."

Jasper's lips twitch with amusement, "It's just not the same without the rainbow suspenders, but good try."

"Still awesome," Emmett defends with his trademark smile, one I return appreciatively when he extends a meaty hand for a fist bump.

"You have some explaining to do little girl," Jasper informs me, blowing out smoke as he takes a seat on the fallen log, "Like how you knew all of that legal shit you vomited on Carlisle last night."

I can't help but laugh as I sit at his side, "My dad used to play Law and Order reruns to help him sleep. I just cobbled together some of the stuff I heard on there and hoped he didn't figure out that I was lying out of my ass."

"Well, it certainly worked like a charm darlin'. You scared the bejesus out of him with you're well crafted bullshit," he chuckles and gives me a pat on the back, "He spent half the night tearin' Eddie a brand new asshole before grounding him till Christmas. In the year three thousand."

"Speaking of Eddie boy," Emmett tosses me a box of what turns out to be theater popcorn, "Save that for after school, my little fireball, you're going to need it. And make sure you have your cell phone set to record the minute you and your sister get outside."

I look to the blond for clarification, but he only smiles and shakes his head, "I'm not gonna ruin this for you kid, but I swear to you that it will be worth the wait. For now, it's time to get our asses movin' on down the road."

I grumble at their dedication to evasiveness, but follow behind.

Bella

Throughout the day I catch glimpses of Edward in the halls, but he always seems to be going exactly a different way than I am, so I am unable to question him further about his attitude last week. He'd been elusive yesterday when we spoke, giving me polite deflections and half formed excuses, but had also promised me solid answers in the near future.

I do my best to patiently wait for biology class, only to discover that he's needed in the office and will be absent the entire period. As it is the singular class we share, I resign myself to delving for answers another time.

At the end of the day, Nessie appears almost giddy as we leave the building, and still wearing those horrendous antenna.

When we get to the big red beast, she claims to have lost something in her bag and proceeds to dump its contents into the bed of my truck. I sit slumped against the front bumper, keys spinning around a finger and watching the bustling crows, while she grumbles and curses behind me.

"Bella Swan!" a familiar voice unexpectedly echoes quite loudly. I stand and peer around to see Edward standing on the roof of his Volvo, a megaphone in hand.

"Bella Swan!" he repeats, swiveling around until he finds me in the crowd, "I did you a grievous wrong on the first day of school. I treated you in a manner no one deserves to be treated and hurt you inexcusably in full view of our classroom and our peers. Today, I take responsibility for the awful things I did and humbly beg that you will someday find a way to forgive the terrible mistakes of a foolish young man who was so taken aback by your unblemished beauty and gentle manner, that I panicked."

There is a heartbeat of silence before he resumes his speech, "Yes, you heard me correctly, denizens of Forks High-and especially Bella- Edward Cullen panicked and reacted in such a shameful manner because I was so frightened that I would say all the wrong things to you and make you hate me. Instead I made all the wrong actions and made you hate me anyway, something I will regret for my entire existence. Now, I know forgiveness will certainly not come today, nor will it be given tomorrow, but I hope with everything that I am that somehow, someday, I can find a way to earn your trust. And maybe even your friendship."

With that, he hops down from his makeshift podium, slips into his car, and drives out of the lot.

I stand in utter shock, staring at the space he had just vacated, until I catch a whiff of….is that popcorn?

Spinning around, I spot my younger sibling perching against the roof of my truck, a box of something in one hand, her phone in the other, "What the hell are you doing up there Ness?"

"Recording his little speech. For posterity, of course," she gives me a Cheshire grin as she puts her mobile -and yes, it is popcorn- away, "Now I'll have something to cheer you up the next time you're having a bad day. Or the next time Emoward decides to act like a fuckwit and hurt your feelings. They'll even be able to play it at his funeral, after I send him on to his next life for fucking with my sister."

I take a moment to absorb her word vomit and realize this is just another way of Nessie proving she cares, so I force my agitation down and gesture for her to get inside the cab, "My hero, as always. Now get in, I'm tired of people gawking and I want to go home."

She gives me a snappy salute and leaps from the bed with a grace I desperately wish I possessed.

Once we're moving, I have to ask, "So where did the popcorn come from anyway?"

"A kid in one of my classes was selling them for his little sister's fundraiser, or some shit. I snagged the last box he had," she replies with a boneless shrug and retrieves the box, "You want some?"

"Maybe when we get home," I respond as we turn onto the main street, "I don't want to get butter all over the steering wheel and make it gross."

"Alrighty," she shoves the item back into her bag, antenna jangling all the while, "Hey, do you want to go for a walk with me when we get home? Maybe up one of the shorter trails Charlie showed us over the summer? We could even look for a cliff for you to throw me off of while we're out."

"I can't tonight Ness," I tell her with a heavy heart, "I've got to do my homework before I head to the store at five. I have to close now because Mrs. Newton needs to leave early. I'm really sorry. What about tomorrow?"

"No can do, as of tonight it's supposed to start raining buckets for, minimum, the next three days. Then, after that is over with, it's going to start getting colder, and I know you are allergic to any temperature below 75F. Not that I'm a huge fan of chilly weather myself, but it's going to be what it's going to be," she informs me then shifts to lay her head against the glass, a classic sign that she is upset but doesn't want to fight, "It's fine Bells, really. We can go some other time, when the forecast isn't as actively hostile toward outdoor activities."

"I really am sorry," I reiterate after a long minute of gut wrenching guilt.

"I know you are, don't worry about it," she answers glumly with a dismissive wave of her hand, her gaze still aimed out the window.

When we arrive home, she shoves the box of popcorn into my hand then goes straight to her room, claiming a desire to listen to music while toiling away on her homework this evening.

It breaks my heart, seeing such a vivacious young woman chafe at being held hostage in the house all the time.

In Phoenix, it hardly ever rained, and she was constantly outside. Whether it was going to the park with her friends, jogging with Phil, or trying to help mom with her pitiful vegetable garden, she was forever finding new ways to keep moving. It wasn't in her nature to sit by idly and wait for the world to come to her. To be honest, I don't think she even understands the word idle when it is applied to life and living.

Silently I vow to get her outside and moving again the minute I have the time to spare because watching her slowly wilt like a neglected flower is simply unacceptable.

For now though, I need to get dinner on so I can focus on my homework.

Nessie

I drop my bag beside my desk and peel off my shoes before dropping onto the bed with a defeated sigh. Then I cover my face with a couple of pillows and scream my head off a few times, just for good measure.

I know I shouldn't be upset that Bella has to work, but I was looking forward to spending some time together doing something besides watching ESPN with Charlie, or doing homework or chores. One can only handle so much of these activities before insanity starts making house calls.

Besides, if we had went out in the woods walking, I could have played the video back for her a thousand times without risking Charlie seeing a single frame of it and asking questions.

Speaking of, I grab my phone and check to see if Jasper has sent me a comment on the video, which I had sent him before a certain stupid Volvo driver had ever made it out of the parking lot. Nothing.

Dammit.

I toss my phone aside and force myself upright. If I'm going to be stuck home alone, again, I just need to accept it and move on. There is absolutely no reason for me to be acting like a spoiled brat when it accomplishes nothing useful.

So I sync my speakers and find some music to listen to whilst I crank out another day's worth of homework.

Sometime later I can hear Bella moving around her own room, but tune it out because the truth is that I need to stop being so dependent on her for companionship. She has to be tired of catering to me all the time, and I don't blame her a bit.

Back home, back in Phoenix, she had her group of friends and I had mine. We were still close, but our social groups rarely intermingled during that time, and we were both perfectly fine with that. Unfortunately the move to Forks had left me at a distinct disadvantage when it came to accessible contacts. Bella actually knew some of these people beforehand, having spent a portion of every summer up here while growing up.

I only knew Bella.

Now I also know Charlie. And the guy at the gas station willing to sell me cigarettes for my "housebound uncle". Neither of which I would consider amongst my intimately trusted circle.

Hell, I can't even recall the name of even one of my fellow ninth graders, mostly because all any of them care about presently is the school's football team and whatever rivalry they are embroiled in this week. I had not lied on the first day, when I said I didn't follow football, and the resulting consequences of my honesty has left me a bit of a pariah among my peers.

Jasper and Emmett are the rarest of exceptions in regards to that unspoken judgment, but even our aberrant camaraderie was born of rebellious circumstance rather than a stolid connection comprised of mutual interests. And truthfully, I cannot see either of them, as seniors with steadfast girlfriends, willingly sacrificing their time to socialize with a lonely fifteen year old girl.

Okay, even in my own head that sounded exceedingly creepy.

Maybe it's for the best that we don't fraternize away from the smoking area, emergency Assward interventions notwithstanding. Who knows what people would say or do if they ever witnessed our meetings out of context?

The realization that my thoughts are spiraling down a dark hole causes me to mentally shake everything away and rededicate myself to finishing my work before I leave myself completely useless for anything besides self imposed misery.

Sometime later, Bella pops her head in to tell me that dinner is in the oven and to say goodbye before she leaves. I make sure to give her a hug before she goes, mutely assuring her that I've recovered from my bout of infantile behavior.

Charlie makes an appearance not long after, looking worn but relaxed. We chat over Bella's excellent dinner, and it goes smoothly despite idle banter being an exercise the chief is still learning the ins and outs of, at least where teenagers are concerned.

He laughs at my jokes though, so I have to call tonight a win overall. He also informs me of a marathon run of an old television show I used to watch with my dad, then brings a heartfelt tear to my eye when he offers to sit and watch a few episodes with me before I go to bed.

Of course I accept.


	5. Chapter 5

I own nothing copyrighted. Duh.

Kings of Leon-Find Me

I see you on a western sky  
All my best tonight  
Out in the dark  
You always seem to come my way  
Come and take your shape  
Out on the stars  
I really wanna know your name  
See your face,

know who you are,

who you are

How did ya find me, how did ya find me?  
What are you looking for, are you looking for  
How did ya find me how did ya find me  
Up in the shadow, picking up my load

I'm waiting on the smoke to rise from behind your eyes  
Send me away  
Follow me into the wild with a twisted smile,

I can't escape  
Now I got you by my side, all my life, day after day  
From the grave

How did ya find me how did ya find me  
What are you looking for, are you looking for  
How did ya find me how did ya find me  
Up in the shadows, picking up my load

I see you under western skies  
Behind your eyes  
I can escape  
From the grave

How did ya find me how did ya find me?  
What are you looking for, are you looking for  
How did ya find me how did ya find me?  
Up in the shadows, what are you looking for

How did ya find me

how did ya find me?

Chapter 5: Cognizance

Bella

I'm ready to rip my hair out by the roots.

It's Friday afternoon and Edward has yet to give me any useful information. And while I have been able to accept his outlandish apology for what it was meant to be, I still cannot be certain if his hot and cold responses are thus only because he truly is worried about the manner in which he speaks to me, or if this is some new game he has concocted to amuse himself with at my expense. If this is all some elaborate game, it is one I know neither the name nor the rules of, making me unable to even begin to play, let alone win.

Hopefully our venture to Port Angeles will help me break this burgeoning cycle of paranoid obsession before I am utterly consumed by it.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Nessie probes from her spot, which is wedged between Angela and myself, "There's so much smoke pouring out of your ears that I'm considering phoning the fire department. Or another exorcist."

"Haha. For your information, I was evaluating how much of my bank account that I was willing to sacrifice in the spirit of instant gratification versus how much I could actually afford to sacrifice if I wanted to keep driving us to school on a daily basis," I retort with a world weary sigh, "And, in the middle of said debate, my brain oh so helpfully decided to remind me that I also have to start making a list of what I want to get you and Charlie for Christmas. So now I'm having to recalculate my entire budget and it's giving me a headache."

"Oh my god, you really are like this all the time," Angela comments with a snicker, "I honestly believed you just had a different mode programmed for anything school related."

"Sorry, my sister just can't help herself," my younger sibling quips before I get a chance to speak, "It's a side effect of the many shock treatments we had to put her through until she was house trained properly. Please know that we did try other methods first, but she wouldn't stop rotating her head three hundred and sixty degrees and spewing pea soup at the priests we had come in to help."

"Nessie!"

"Bellie!"

"Nessa stop it right now!" I howl as the first vestiges of the town come into view, then take a steadying breath before continuing in a calmer tone,"Can you please, for one night, pretend you have some semblance of self restraint? I really, really need a night off from all the bullshit I've been dealing with, otherwise you know I wouldn't ask you to alter a damn thing about yourself. So please, I am literally begging you, cut me some slack, just for tonight."

"Alright Bella, I'll behave," she quietly answers, somehow managing to look smaller in her seat, "I didn't mean to piss you off, I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I made things uncomfortable for you Angela."

"It's okay," Angela is quick to declare in a sympathetic tone, "I have siblings that I don't always get along with either, so I know how these things can go."

Nessie gives a slight nod of understanding, but stays quiet.

Unfortunately the awkward atmosphere refuses to disperse until I find a place to park beside Tyler's rusty van and we file out into the lazy drizzle.

Nessie immediately excuses herself to go check out an indoor rock climbing place whose existence she had learned of when she did some research on the town. I can see a plume of smoke erupt around her when she is about fifty yards away, causing me to frown and find another direction to look in.

"Will she be okay on her own?" Angela probes, gazing worriedly at my sister's retreating figure.

"We'll check up on each other every half hour or so, until it gets dark. Then we will stick together until we go home," I show her the timer running on my phone, "It's how we always did things back in Phoenix, and now we're testing out how well it works up here."

"Oh, okay," my friend smiles, then greets our other friends as they walk over to us.

The next several hours are spent wandering through the shopping district and simply being teenagers who are enjoying a night out. I get regular updates from my younger sibling, informing me of every change of location, as well as a picture of a receipt each time she makes a purchase.

As the sun's light starts to wane, our little band begins to crumble. First it's the couples, all leaving for dinner dates, then the singletons begin going their own way. Tyler and Mike last longest, but eventually they bow out due to the curfew their parents had set. In the end even Angela leaves me to accept a ride home with Ben and I can't fault her for it, as she has been carrying a torch for him for years.

I make my way to one last shop before it is time to meet Nessie. Charlie told me about the place when I was quizzing him on the history of the Quileutes the night before.

A brass bell announces my entrance into the quaint establishment. The potent aroma of white sages permeates the air within, bringing a sense of comfort as it washes over me. I wonder aimlessly for a time, basking in the calm, before I begin an earnest search for the book titles my father had recommended at Billy Black's behest.

I find them easily and spend a few minutes glossing through their pages before going to the register. It is then I discover than I had been lost in my book daze for much longer than intended, as I was nearly fifteen minutes late to meet my sister.

I rush out of the store after a hasty thanks to the proprietor, and attempt to dig my phone out of my pocket without dropping my new books or my bag.

A second later I hear the first whistle. A second follows right after.

I look up and notice that I've been running in the wrong direction.

"Hello beautiful," a rough looking man calls out as he emerges from the mouth of an alley, "You look a bit lost. I can help you with that."

"Don't listen to him dear, he don't know his way out of a wet paper bag," another, larger man declares while plodding up the sidewalk, "I'll be happy to show you the way though."

"So where you heading, all alone?" A third asks and I turn to see him standing way too close for comfort.

"Just going home," I manage to keep my voice even despite the terror clawing at my throat.

A swift glance around obliterates any hope I have of escaping. There is nowhere for me to run, they have me boxed in, with my back to the wall of a warehouse and them on three sides.

Just as one steps close enough to touch my arm, a familiar car skids into the fray, scarcely missing the two other men. Edward steps out of the vehicle, "Bella get into the fucking car. Now."

I don't think, I simply act. I dive headfirst into the passenger seat, a sob exploding from my chest as I hit the upholstery. I don't even have time to right myself before Edward is at the wheel and I hear the tires wail in protest as he hits the gas pedal.

"What in the hell were you thinking, walking down by the wharf after dark?" he snarls, his eyes never leaving the road, "Were you trying to get yourself hurt or even killed with that little stunt?"

"I-I went to a b-bookstore my dad told me about," I stammer through my tears, "When I came out, I was trying to c-call my sister and turned down the w-wrong road. I-I didn't m-mean to get l-lost, it just h-happened."

"Fuck, this shit just keeps getting better and better," he spits and downshifts before glancing my direction, "Where is your sister right now?"

With trembling hands I pull up the last message she'd sent me, "Um, she's waiting at the Mc-McDonald's. I n-need to call her, she will b-be worried."

"You want to call your batshit crazy sister right now? Sounding like you do?" he snorts out a laugh bereft of all humor, "Yeah, I'm sure she won't freak out when she hears that you are bawling your eyes out while riding in my car, but hey, go for it. Who am I to dissuade you?"

"I'll just text her," I decide and fire off a message explaining that I got lost for a bit but I'm moving in the right direction now and will be there in just a few minutes.

She answers with a thumbs up emoji. Wonderful.

His phone begins to ring and he mutters something under his breath before raising it to his ear, "What do you want now Alice?"

I can't hear what she says, but he's not happy about it whatsoever. "You've got to be fucking kidding me Ali. In case you can't tell by the sound of my voice, I'm already having a shitty go of things at the moment and do not need another complication fucking up my night. Fine. Yes. Ali-but Ali-I-Ali-dammit I said okay already, now let me fucking drive. Bye."

He hits the End button, then abruptly opens his window and heaves the phone out without another word.

"Is everything okay?" I internally wince at how pitiful my voice sounds.

He looks out the window a second, then swivels his head to peer at me with a sheepish expression on his features, "Um, is there any way we can pretend that you didn't just witness me throw my phone away like a complete idiot?"

Despite my spiraling emotions and ragged nerves, the ridiculousness of what just occurred makes me start laughing hysterically which, in turn, startles Edward enough to make him jump in his seat. The unexpected action only serves to amplify the voracity of my already too loud guffaws.

And then I hear it. The most beautiful sound.

Beside me, Edward is laughing. Out loud.

When we roll into the open parking space situated directly across from my confused sibling less than a minute later, I am laughing so hard that the tears on my face are no longer from fear.

"Bells?" she prompts as she warily moves closer to the window, "Are you okay?"

"I'm f—" I struggle to regain control of my faculties as I get out of the car, "I'm fine. I swear."

"If laughing like a bloody lunatic counts as fine," Edward interjects, still chuckling as he leans over the center console to look up at Nessie, "Could you please put a leash on her next time you two go anywhere besides school? Her direction sense is so bad, I fear she would have ended up somewhere in bumfuck Canada if I hadn't came across her when I did."

"A sparkly one, in bright pink, as soon as I can find one in her size," Ness ripostes while taking my arm, then promptly shuts the door on him.

"Rude," I snipe as she starts dragging me toward the big red beast.

"He'll get over it," she fires back without an ounce of remorse, "Are you really okay? He didn't do or say anything that deserves another ass kicking, did he?"

"He rescued me from myself," I vaguely divulge and dig my keys out of my bag, "You can't be angry about that."

"I'm fifteen and so fucking ginger that even my ear hairs are bright red, so I get to be mad about any damn thing I want," she grumbles whilst climbing into the cab.

"Whatever floats your boat," I shrug and coax the beast out of its slumber.

Eventually she moves on from griping about Edward and starts gushing about some of the things she found or did for the duration of her bout of freedom. I passively listen to her excited recounting as I drive, my mind privately dissecting the last half hour of my life while the miles tick by.

When we arrive home, her gift of gab continues to present itself until I excuse myself for a shower, then bed.

Once I am safely ensconced in my room, I soon find myself recalling the sound of Edward's joyous laughter and cannot help but smile at the memory. He looked so carefree, in those moments of innocent happiness. So beautiful, it made my heart ache.

I find myself yearning to experience it again. Even the bad parts, if I had to.

It's completely irrational, to crave something usually so commonplace. But then again, the sound that rolled out of him was anything but common.

Holy hell, I'm pining after Edward Cullen. My sister is going to kill me. No, that's not right.

Nessie's going to kill him.

Nessie

"I think we need to have a talk," I tell Jasper while pondering the black and white photograph in the book I'm holding, "Does the name Jasper Whitlock ring any bells up in your belfry?"

"Fuck," is the only word I hear before the call cuts off.

I stow the book under the floorboards in my closet, just in case, then attempt to mentally prepare for what may or may not happen next.

Ten minutes, and a futile effort at meditating, later, my phone buzzes with an incoming text.

Open your window, then step out of the way. DO NOT SCREAM!-J

Apprehension threatens to choke me into oblivion, but I wrangle it down and feed it half a soda before rising from my bed to acquiesce. Thankfully the house alarm hasn't been set for the night, or I would be thoroughly screwed.

I lock my door, then make a pit stop to turn my music on, to cover any sounds that I might make. After, I hustle across the span of my room and push the frame completely open with a single heave, then throw myself out of the way as a figure seems to erupt into existence within the casement. It takes my brain several seconds to compute that Jasper is now crouched in my bedroom window.

My second story bedroom window.

"Holy shit, did you just teleport?" I hear myself ask and all but leap for my cigarettes. Something tells me that I'm going to require their calming effects in short order.

"That would have made this whole ordeal so much easier to explain," the blond smiles and slides into the room with practiced ease as I light two smokes and hold one out for him to take, which he does, "But alas, I only jumped. Hence the reason I told to you get out of the way after you opened the window."

"How in the fuck were you able to make a jump like that?" I move to peer outside and vainly attempt to gauge the distance. Too dark. I pull my head back in, "Even better, how did you stick the landing without making a single sound? Or breaking the side of the house? Are you an alien? Oh shit, that's it, isn't it? You're a fucking alien! What planet are you from?"

"I'm not an alien Nessie," he languidly corrects, smoke billowing from his nose whilst he leans back against the wall, "I was born on earth, same as you. To be specific, I was born in Houston Texas."

"So was the Jasper in the book I found," I reveal then fight to recall the year, "In 1844, I believe."

"That is correct," he smiles again, but this one is full of emotions I can't untangle with a mere glance, "To Ronald and Jessamine Whitlock."

Finally I compile enough courage to stand before him and ask the question that has been gnawing on my insides for hours, "Jasper Whitlock isn't just some ancestor that you eerily resemble right down to the scar on your chin, is he?"

His head shakes out a negative and his smile fades, "Afraid not darlin'. Still not an alien though, so get that out of your pretty little head."

"Are you an immortal?" I toss out instead.

"Kind of," he admits and thoughtfully scratches at his jaw for a moment, "I am immune to disease and the physical deterioration that comes with old age. A gun won't kill me, neither will drowning, electrocution, asphyxiation, poison, or a fall from the highest part of the Grand Canyon."

"Are you listing the ones you've already tried, or are you just screwing with me?"

He shrugs a shoulder, "If it makes you feel better, none of them were successful."

"You don't say," I snipe and slide downward until I'm sitting at his feet, "Is this some freakish hiccup in evolution, or are there others like you out there?"

"There are many others who share this unique circumstance. Thousands, possibly millions," he states after some hesitation, "An entire species."

"Are you like those characters from Highlander? You know, the guys who chop each other to bits with swords? There can be only one?" it all sounds perfectly rational, until it comes out of my mouth.

This time the grin I see is more genuine, "Thankfully not. But your brain is starting to move you in the right direction."

"Do I get any clues?" I have to ask.

"There is a myth associated with my species among every civilization to have ever existed," he enigmatically replies, then adds, "Not zombies or elves."

"Mummies?"

"No."

"Wizards or sorcerers?"

"No."

"Demons?"

"While some would call us that, the answer is still no."

"Faeries?"

"Same classification as elves."

"Meta humans? Like in comic books?"

"No, although we have been portrayed in them."

"Golems?"

"Nice one, but nope."

"Robots? Ghouls? Denizens from deep below the earth's crust?"

"Cold. Warmer. Ice fuckin' cold."

What fucking myth is shared throughout every civilization that I haven't already named?

"Oh shit."

"Is she finally getting close?"

"You kept specifying 'not zombies', but then you told me I was getting warmer when I said ghouls," I rationalize aloud, earning a nod of encouragement, "But ghouls are just another form of un…." I proceed to choke on my breath until he pats me on the back a few times, "You've got to be shitting me. You're a vampire?"

"Well, that took long enough," another voice chimes in and I back jump around to see Emmett is now sitting in my window, grinning like the cat who just ate the canary.


	6. Chapter 6

Nope, still don't own anything.

A Perfect Circle-The Doomed

Behold a new Christ  
Behold the same old horde  
Gather at the altering  
New beginning, new word

And the word was death  
And the word was without light  
The new beatitude  
"Good luck, you're on your own"

Blessed are the fornicates  
May we bend down to be their whores  
Blessed are the rich  
May we labor, deliver them more

Blessed are the envious  
Bless the slothful, the wrathful, the vain  
Blessed are the gluttonous  
May they feast us to famine and war

What of the pious, the pure of heart, the peaceful?  
What of the meek, the mourning, and the merciful?  
All doomed  
All doomed

Behold a new Christ  
Behold the same old horde  
Gather at the altering  
New beginning, new word

And the word was death  
And the word was without light  
The new beatitude: "Good luck"

What of the pious, the pure of heart, the peaceful?  
What of the meek, the mourning, and the merciful?  
What of the righteous? What of the charitable?  
What of the truthful, the dutiful, the decent?

Doomed are the poor  
Doomed are the peaceful  
Doomed are the meek  
Doomed are the merciful

For the word is now death  
And the word is now without light  
The new beatitude:  
"Fuck the doomed, you're on your own"

Chapter 6

Nessie

"You're here to kill me then, aren't you?" I calmly look between the two men and light another cigarette, "If you are, can we not do it where Bella and Charlie will find my body? They don't deserve that kind of pain. Not after everything else that has happened this year."

The smile on Emmett's face melts like ice on a hot metal plate and he raises his hands in surrender, "We're not going to kill you Nessa. Do you really believe that we are sadistic enough to make you guess what we were if we were just going to off you afterword?"

"Are you really going to try to tell me there aren't people out there who would do just that in order to get their jollies?" I retaliate without an ounce of humor, "I mean pick up a newspaper from anywhere in the world and read the headlines most days. Those murders that make the front page are merely the ones humans have discovered. How many have your kind covered up? Thousands, I would bet."

"She makes a fair point," Jasper runs both hands through his hair then pushes off the wall, "Vanessa Joy Dwyer, I swear to you that no one is here to take your life-or the life of anyone in this house- on this night."

I allow his words to sink in for a minute, then press, "So what are you going to do with me then?"

"We are going to teach you how to keep your mouth shut, first off," Emmett reveals, lifting a finger to shush me when I go to speak, "Humans aren't supposed to know about us. If one happens to find out, the standard practice is to kill them and move our happy asses on to another city as fast as possible. But Jas and I like it here in Forks. More than that, our wives like it here. So we would like the opportunity to live in this town for as long as it is safe for us to stay."

"And the only current way for us to stay safe -and not be murderers- is to teach you to refine and compound on something you are better at than people give you credit for," Jasper adds with a soft smile, "Subtlety."

"You proved you were able to handle our dirty little secret right around the time you bullshitted Carlisle into a full on panic attack," Emmett chuckles and finally leaves the window, only to seat himself on my bed, "I'd never heard him scream as loud as he did at widdle Eddie that night either. Made my ears nearly bleed."

"You honestly make it sound like you get along with him as well as I do," I can't help but say as I watch the bigger man stretch out on my ramen soup comforter, "It makes me wonder why you deal with him being such a douche all the time."

"Edward is a spoiled child who wields his gifts like weapons," Jasper begins to make a slow circuit of my room as he speaks, "I cannot say that he is deliberately cruel, rather he is simply a brat who acts without thinking because he's never had to grow up. Carlisle and the rest of us have always shouldered the repercussions of his lack of self-restraint. You're grand speech changed that though. As a matter of fact, your actions have drastically altered the entire dynamic of our family."

I changed all of that?

What does that even mean?

"Okay, let me get this straight," I can't even begin to wrap my head around all of the possible ramifications surrounding this highly abnormal situation, "I got Edward yelled at by his daddy so I get to join a special "Today I Found Out Vampires Really Do Exist" club? Do I get a jacket with a patch or something? Maybe a gold star on my headstone when I die?"

"It's better than being dead," Emmett reminds me, shrugging one broad shoulder, as nonchalant as if he were conversing about the weather, "Well, being really dead. That shit sucks. Being pseudo dead can be pretty awesome though. We do all kinds of thi-"

Then an ominous fact steamrolls through my psyche and I begin to wheeze,"Oh shit. Your entire family, they're vampires too, aren't they?"

Both give a nod and I feel my legs suddenly turn to water. And if that weren't enough, as my knees hit the wood floor, another realization stampedes through my brain, "My dad's bat wouldn't have done a damn thing to Edward."

"Not especially," Jasper confesses wryly, while I do my best not to hyperventilate, "But the look that would've been on his face? When you -a tiny little slip of a human- hauled off and cracked him upside his dome? It would have been priceless."

"Jas, she's starting to look a little green around the gills," Emmett interjects, then blurs to catch me as the rooms tilts on its axis, "I think she's gonna faint."

"I'm not going to faint," I hoarsely protest even as he scoops me up and deposits me onto the bed, "I just need..a minute…..to process….I-"

"Need to breathe," the dark haired man cuts me off in a steady, soothing tone while placing my trembling hands on his chest, "Breathe with me Nessie, in and out. Slow, steady, in and out. Good girl, keep breathing with me little one. In and out."

"Dead people don't breathe," I weakly chide once my heart stops pounding in my head.

"These dead people do, if we want to talk, smell out prey, et cetera," Jasper explains, having ceased his pacing to stand at the foot of my bed, "Some of us never lose the instinct, while others have to relearn it, just like blinking."

"Are you okay now?" Emmett ignores his "brother" and gently lifts my face to look at my eyes, "I thought you were gonna check out on us, for a minute there."

"And miss all this?" I offer up an anemic smile and push myself up against the pillows, "I'm not Bella, I don't just pass out at random things like the smell of blood, vampires camping out in my room, or-"

"Wait a sec, Bella can smell blood?" Jasper laughs quietly and shakes his head when I give the affirmative, "Wonders will never cease."

"You might not want to offer her your lunch thermos at school then," I tease, earning myself another bout of muffled chuckles, "Speaking of school, do you guys realize how shitty you are at avoiding attention? And why are you in school to begin with?"

"Like I said before, we try to live in the same area for as long as possible," Emmett states, leaning back now that he's satisfied with my health, "So if we start out as first-or second- year high school students, that gives us an extra three or four years in one place. Going to college can extend it another four to eight years, depending on how observant the locals are."

"But why do it at all? Aren't vampires the epitome of the things that go bump in the night?" I reach for my cigarettes but instead I get handed my soda. I frown at the blond, but concede. For now, "Why do you bother trying to pose as human at all? It has to get awfully tedious, pretending to be human all the time. Or is this some weirdo wolf in sheep's clothing deal, where you get your rocks off on hunting for your food among smelly teenagers?"

"We don't eat people, usually," Jasper snorts out a laugh then sighs, "Drinking from humans greatly diminishes our capacity for what Carlisle would call "civilized fraternization". We become more visceral, more animalistic when we drink human blood. We become slaves to our baser instincts and desires, because the power that comes with it is absolutely intoxicating. We-"

"Okay drama queen," the other man rolls his eyes dramatically, "We eat animals Ness. Eddie compares it to a human living on soy or tofu, but honestly? Every animal still has its own unique flavor, just like it would if a human cooked it and ate it. As a matter of fact, about half of our kills end up at a butchers shop, where the meat can be cut and donated to homeless shelters and such."

"It is a difficult transition to make, especially for those who were not "born" to the practice," Jasper picks up the thread again, all traces of humor gone now, "Those like myself. I didn't know that we could sustain ourselves indefinitely on a diet of animals, until I met Alice. She saved me from myself, although I won't lie and say I haven't made my shares of mistakes."

Emmett reaches over and pats his arm, "We've almost all had relapses man, and have mourned each one. Isn't that some of what keeps up from becoming monsters though? Our remorse? And you show that remorse more than most. So, you have to give yourself a break every once in a while, as we can't all be Carlisle and Alice."

"I know," Jasper squeezes the other man's hand as he looks everywhere but at me for a long minute.

"So what part of all these shenanigans specifically places me in the "Friend, Not Food" category?" I query once their moment has passed, "Other than the human being part?"

"Number one, you're just a kid, and one with a family who would notice your absence," Emmett answers as I successfully snag my smokes and light one after sticking my tongue out at his adopted sibling, "Two, you're not a complete moron. Unlike some others out there, who actively chase their Darwin Awards. Three, you're not a violent felon or some similar blackguard."

"So you try to eat bad guys and idiots when the urge to snack on someone gets too overwhelming?" I probe, earning yet another nod from both, "So exactly how many have been sacrificed for Mike Newton?"

Emmett almost falls from the bed laughing.

Jasper just smirks and lights his own cigarette. When things(read: Emmett) die down, Jasper grows serious again, "I think we've burned enough of your brain cells for tonight darlin, and-"

"Our wives are outside, calling for us," Emmett talks over his companion, earning himself a disgruntled frown, which he proceeds to ignore, "They think you need to get at least a little sleep while we evidently need scolded for keeping you up for so long to begin with."

"But it's only-" I look at my phone and spew out a curse, "Nevermind, it is really fucking late. Well, early now, I guess. Will I see you again tomorrow night then? I still have questions that need answering."

"One of us will let you know at some point before dark," Emmett damn near smothers me with a hug before Jasper pulls him to his feet, "And it goes without saying that we need you to keep this to yourself."

"Then why did you say it?" I flash him an impish grin then accept a more tame hug from Jasper, "Don't accept rides from strangers with candy, or bet against a Sicilian when death is on the line. And always remember kids, never put anything in your mouth that someone tells you tastes just like chicken."

I follow them over to the window, still laughing, and watch them leap from said window. Jasper somersaults in the air, landing on his feet without making a single print in the grass, then runs into the dark. Emmett falls back into a lazy flip, and is running the instant his toes make contact with the ground.

I shut the window with a weary sigh, then dig out my dragons blood incense and light one before getting ready for bed. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep in spite of the night I've lived.

Bella

I hang up with Mrs. Newton and smile at my father, "They decided they don't need me today, a thank you for closing the other night."

"Well, Harry is having a barbecue over at his place this afternoon. Maybe this would be a nice time to officially introduce Ness to everyone?" he offers and I cannot ignore the hope shining in his dark eyes.

"Sure dad," I smile and silently preen at the sheer look of joy that overtakes his features, "But Ness was up late, reading and listening to her music, so I'm going to wait a bit before I drag the monster from her den, okay?"

"That's fine Bells," he bobs his head and holds out the coffee carafe. I accept the refill and simply enjoy the quiet morning.

My younger sibling will be on the warpath soon enough, because I highly doubt she will permit the events of last night to simmer long before confronting me about Edward's unexpected appearance.

Edward….

I sneak a look at my phone under the table and re-read the simple message I had awakened to.

-Good morning Bella. I hope the rest of your night was quiet.

I know it was him, even though I had seen his phone go sailing into the black just hours ago. Of course, with as wealthy as the Cullens appeared to be, he probably had another just sitting in a drawer at home.

Wait, that sounded really pretentious.

"Morning," Nessie's grunt interrupts my train of thought as she wobbles straight to the coffee pot.

"Someone was up late," I quip and slip my phone into my back pocket.

"Yeah, I got a few new books about local legends and some history stuff for class that I couldn't wait to delve into," she mumbles semi-coherently and drops into a chair, "I lost track of time and ended up reading until almost dawn."

"Solid proof that you and Bella were meant to be sisters," Charlie sagely intones as he rises from his seat and grabs his keys from their hook, "I've got to make a trip to the store for a few things. Any requests?"

"I'll text you a list so I can make some of Nana's macaroni salad," I tell him as I also vacate my seat and make my way to the cabinet where I store my prized cookbooks, "I don't have time to make much else, so it will have to do."

"I thought you had to work all weekend?" Nessie turns to me after Charlie gives me a thumbs up and leaves.

"I was given the day off," I tell her as I begin gathering ingredients, "So we're going to the reservation for a party at Harry Clearwater's instead. Unless you want to pass on a chance to see Jacob Black again?"

Instantly she perks from her half dead position at the table, "Jake will be there?"

I give her a slow grin and a sideways look, "He always comes over with Billy. Sometimes they go ride dirt bikes or walk the trails. A lot of the other girls go out with them as well, so you won't be too obvious with your stalking."

"You make it sound like I'm going to be scurrying around, dressed like an overgrown shrub, and spying on him from ten feet away with a pair of binoculars or something," she grouses, but there is no heat in her words.

"If the shoe fits," I shrug and pull out my phone to forward my list to my father, "Bring three sets of clothes. One to get wet or dirty, one to actually hang out in, and another for when it gets dark and they light the bonfire. Oh, and bring two blankets as well. An old one for the beach, and one for-"

"Staying warm," she concludes with an exaggerated sigh, "I remember Bells. Is there anything else, oh omniscient one?"

"Don't let anyone catch you smoking because I'm not bailing you out," I throw over my shoulder as she begins the trek upstairs, "And no booze, or Charlie will have both our asses."

"Oh for fuck's sake, I don't even drink!" she yells back before I hear the bathroom door shut.

I fetch the big cooking pot from under the sink, fill it with water, then put it on the stove before moving to the fridge. Just as I pull open the door, my phone buzzes.

"What do I need to explain this time? It's just some vegetables, vinegar, mustard, and mayo dad, not rocket science," I mumble to myself as I pull the device from my pocket.

Any chance you can give the sister-beast the slip and come out with me this afternoon? I want for us to be able to talk without any heroic interventions or bullhorns. Or insane siblings.

Well shit. If I had only received this twenty minutes ago.

-I can't. Going to a barbecue with Ness and my dad. Maybe tomorrow after I get off work?

I have to stop my fingers from tapping themselves raw on the counter while I wait for a response, which only comes after I hear Nessie move from the bathroom and into her bedroom.

-Sure. Message me when you're done and I'll meet you somewhere. Your choice. Always.

"Bella, have you seen my purple comb?" Nessie asks from the top of the stairs.

"Check either behind the mouthwash or on your desk," I reply and look back to my phone, suddenly unsure of what I'm getting myself into. Then one of Phil's kernels of wisdom surfaces.

"Live your best life. You're going to make mistakes while doing it, but those mistakes, those experiences? They make life worth living."

Yes, I am-most likely-about to make a horrific mistake. But maybe, just maybe, I will be able to get Edward Cullen and this strange obsession with him out of my system so I can get on with living my life.

Please meet me by the train shelter in the park at two. We can decide where we want to go from there.


	7. Chapter 7

Do I really have to keep explaining that I don't own anything copyrighted?

Vertical Horizon-Everything You Want

Somewhere there's speaking  
It's already coming in  
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind  
You never could get it  
Unless you were fed it  
Now you're here and you don't know why

But under skinned knees and the skid marks  
Past the places where you used to learn  
You howl and listen  
Listen and wait for the  
Echoes of angels who won't return

He's everything you want  
He's everything you need  
He's everything inside of you  
That you wish you could be  
He says all the right things  
At exactly the right time  
But he means nothing to you  
And you don't know why

You're waiting for someone  
To put you together  
You're waiting for someone to push you away  
There's always another wound to discover  
There's always something more you wish he'd say

He's everything you want  
He's everything you need  
He's everything inside of you  
That you wish you could be  
He says all the right things  
At exactly the right time  
But he means nothing to you  
And you don't know why

But you'll just sit tight  
And watch it unwind  
It's only what you're asking for  
And you'll be just fine  
With all of your time  
It's only what you're waiting for

Out of the island  
Into the highway  
Past the places where you might have turned  
You never did notice  
But you still hide away  
The anger of angels who won't return

He's everything you want  
He's everything you need  
He's everything inside of you  
That you wish you could be  
He says all the right things  
At exactly the right time  
But he means nothing to you  
And you don't know why

I am everything you want  
I am everything you need  
I am everything inside of you  
That you wish you could be  
I say all the right things  
At exactly the right time  
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why  
And I don't know why  
Why  
I don't know

Chapter 7: Life and the Pursuit of Happiness

Nessie

I can hear an older rock song blaring from one of the parked vehicles as Bella and I pull in beside Charlie's cruiser. The smaller children are chasing clouds of bubbles across the grass while older kids lazily pass a football around. Adults mill about the field in clusters, chatting and laughing. It reminds me of the backyard parties my dad and I used to attend.

The bittersweet thought echoes in my chest as Bella shuts off the big red beast and flashes me a smile, "Are you ready to have some fun before the rain comes back?"

"Definitely," I can't help but answer her grin with one of my own as I reach for the door handle, "I even made sure to put a first aid kit in the bed for when you inevitably hurt yourself."

"Brat," she huffs and promptly trips over her own feet as she exits the truck.

"Another random gravity check Bells?" a new voice laughs and I look over to see Jake trotting up whilst my sibling clings to the door for dear life, "I heard those things lay in wait to ambush poor, unsuspecting klutzes."

"Comedians, the both of you," she grouses upon righting herself then reaches for the cooler stowed in the back.

"Here, let me," the Quileute boy rushes to relieve her of her burden, "Who knows when gravity will strike again, after all."

"Gee thanks," she smiles and reaches for a few shopping bags instead.

"Never a problem Bells," he beams back.

Knowing my input would be fairly useless at the moment, I simply gather what Bella leaves then follow after the pair.

"So I thought you had to work all weekend," Jake comments as we near the row of tables already laden with food.

"My boss unexpectedly gave me the day off," she explains, waving to a group who call out a greeting, "So when dad told us about Harry's party, I was happy for the chance to get Ness and myself out and about for a bit."

Looking around as he sits down the cooler, he notices my presence for the first time, "Hey Nessie. Welcome to your first party on the rez."

I refuse to acknowledge the blood rushing to my face, even as my head involuntarily dips, "Thanks Jake."

His attention is already gone, dark gaze focused on my elder sibling, "Are you going to come out with us to ride dirt bikes later?"

She shrugs one thin shoulder, "I'm not really sure I'm coordinated enough to ride one, to be honest. I've only been riding a few times with Phil and Ness, and those were just those little mini bikes. You should take her instead, she's great on a bike."

"You ride?" he swivels around to face me.

I give a slow nod and a shrug of my own, "My dad had me on 50cc mini bikes from the time I was four or five and we moved on to bigger bikes when I could finally reach the pegs. It wasn't competitive or anything, we just went out on the trails a couple times a year for fun."

"If you don't bring her with you, I'm more than happy to," another boy grins as he strolls over and extends a hand,"I'm Seth. You must be the little sister Bella and Charlie have talked about."

"Guilty as charged," I give his hand a shake and smirk, "And yes, I really am as awesome as they've said."

"Did you really get suspended from your fourth grade graduation for punching a racist in the mouth?" he queries, blindsiding me.

"There's more to the story than that, but ultimately yes," I admit with a sigh, earning a few chuckles from those close enough to hear.

"Did your dad really take you to Disneyland as a reward?" Jake probes.

"No, we actually went to the zoo," I clarify and roll my eyes, "The website who published that story made up ninety nine percent of the article because I managed to hit the kid of some jerk who was running for public office in our district."

"Girls shouldn't fight," a young woman snarks from the other end of the tables, "We're better than that. Well, most of us are."

"Racists don't care what gender you are," I retaliate with a scoff, "And a little FYI: the kid I hit? They just happened to be a girl too. I guess she didn't have someone like you around to tell her she couldn't be a raging asshole because she has tits."

"Only crude people use foul language," she spits back with a haughty expression, "Cursing also displays a lack of intelligence."

"That's funny," I snort out a laugh, "Because multiple scientific studies from accredited universities have found that people who cuss are generally more creative and intelligent than those who-"

The growing tension is forcibly purged as new voices shout, "Bella!"

Suddenly two more boys rush over to exchange hugs and raucous greetings with my elder sibling, successfully separating me from the venomous harpy long enough for her to escape. Whilst I mutely seethe and will my anger back into its cage, Seth quietly explains the newcomers are Quil Ateara and Embry Call, Jake's best friends.

As the group begins chatting merrily, even pulling Seth into the conversation, I quietly move away to sit on a rock resting close to the treeline. The unexpected line of questioning has left me a bit rattled because the friend I fought against the racist bitch for had died not long afterwords. Leukemia.

And the last thing that awful girl ever said to him was that he was faking being sick to cover for having to shave his head to get rid of the lice his family brought with them when they came here illegally from Mexico. He was from Puerto Rico. His mama was a National Guardsmen and his mom was-

"You doing okay kid?" the unexpected question startles me out of my spiraling thoughts. I glance up to see a smiling yet tired looking young woman holding a cup out toward me.

"Just having a broody teenager moment," I return the smile and accept the cup, "Our brains cease to function if we don't have at least one episode every few hours, especially younger teens."

"Ain't that the damn truth," she chuckles and takes a seat on the rock to my left, "Charlie saw you sitting over here alone and got a little wide eyed so I offered to come check up on you. I'm Leah, Seth's sister."

"Nessie, but you probably knew that already," I feel slightly stupid for stating the obvious.

"Yeah but it's nice to meet you finally," she says then takes a sip of her drink, "Charlie has talked you up so much, I was kind of expecting a red haired Xena to come screaming onto the scene. Is it true you broke a karate instructors arm in four places during a competition?"

"It was an accident!" I spew out before I can stop myself, "I was practicing my kata over in the corner of an empty room with my earbuds in and got caught up in the music. I didn't realize I was going full tilt until I kicked out and hit her. It was really embarrassing actually, but I'm glad it was my foot that hit her instead of one of my kamas."

"That would have been nasty," Leah comments then nods toward my sibling and her gaggle of admirers, "So why aren't you over there kicking some ass? I heard Melody was being her usual charming self a little while ago."

"I don't actually like picking physical fights with people," I tell her with a sigh and squash the urge to pull out a cigarette, "A few nasty words are no big deal, but instigating a physical confrontation with someone like her? That's like firing a tank shell at someone holding a nerf pistol just to prove you have a bigger gun."

"I like that analogy," she smiles again, "Mind if I steal it?"

"It's not copyrighted or anything, so feel free," I shrug a shoulder, "My dad used to say shit like that all the time, so I've got a million more of them in my verbal arsenal."

"I'll have to hit you up when I need a new one then," she gets to her feet and gestures for me to follow, "We're all going down to the beach while the sun is out and I'm not going to let you sit here by yourself, so get your ass up and come on. Don't make me call some of the others to carry you because then you'll end up in the water for sure."

"Spoken like a true big sister," I chuckle and follow after her.

As we stroll down the winding and rough cut path, the sounds of small engines firing up echo through the trees.

"Jared and the boys must be back with the gas," Leah states and her steps slow before she looks my way, "I may have to duck out of this early to avoid some awkward shit, please don't think I'm ditching you because I'm an asshole."

"Anything I can help with?" I have to offer after how kind she's been.

"Not this time," she blows out a weighted breath and her shoulders slump, "It's really personal and I wasn't expecting the problem to be here already, that's all."

"We could go walk that trail instead, if you'd like," I suggest, pointing to a slight trail snaking its way into the forest, "Avoid the awkwardness together."

Her head swivels back and forth between the two options for a moment, then gives a defeated nod, "Sure. I'll show you the cliffs we dive off of sometimes, how about that?"

"Sounds fantastic," I admit and gesture for her to take the lead.

About a hundred yards into the woods, she abruptly stops and rifles through the pockets of her cargo pants until she pulls out, to my surprise, a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. She holds them up a tad nervously, "Do you mind?"

"Only if you don't mind that I smoke one of my own," I retrieve my smokes and spark one before she can deny me the chance, "It'll be our dirty little secret."

"Fair enough," she lights hers before resuming our walk, "I know it's a terrible habit, but fuck it, it's a better option than eating a bullet."

"Not to mention my dealer was out of the good Tide pods," I quip, earning a quiet chuckle, "I miss the good ole days of unlimited cherry flavored detergent and crispy paint chips. Now everything is so bland and doesn't kill you nearly as slow. Damn those FDA regulations, trying to keep us all alive and relatively safe."

"Has anyone ever told you that you have a twisted sense of humor?" she asks as we reach a fork and she directs us toward the trail veering off to the right.

"Yeah, yeah. It's usually followed by something like 'Now untie me and let me go and I promise I won't call the cops', but you know how critics can be," I fire off without missing a beat, earning myself both a gasp and a guffaw, "The priest also said I needed to work on my acceptance of healthy criticism, but then the crack kicked in and I couldn't understand most of what else he was mumbling. All I could decipher was something about Billy washing up."

"You are a terrible person," she manages between fits of laughter that are causing her to stumble a bit.

"You assume I am a person, you naughty girl," I retaliate with a chastising finger waggle, "No ma'am, I'm actually a meat popsicle and therefore am immune to your puny human laws of decency."

"Oh my god, you're a riot," she snickers as the trees begin to give way to grass and rock, "I mean, I'd heard some of Charlie's stories about you, but I didn't expect you to be even more out there than he explained."

"At least I'm not boring?" I flash her a grin and yet another shrug. I really need to stop shrugging at everything.

"Definitely not boring," she agrees just as a clap of thunder booms overhead, "Well shit. There goes walking the cliffs. It will get too slippery for us the moment the rain starts."

At her words, the sky cracks a second time, then a wall of rain surges to life at the treeline.

"Well, I guess it's time for my annual shower," I sigh and peer at the canopy looming above us, "At least we're not the poor sods scrambling on the beach right now. Bella is going to be pissed and Jake's going to be privy to a human reenactment of what it's like trying to baptize a cat. I almost feel sorry for him."

"I know that tone," Leah gives me a sideways glance as we begin our return journey, "How long have you liked him?"

"Only since the day he and Billy dropped off Bella's big red beast," I answer honestly, stepping around a cluster of tree roots, "It's silly and I know he will never look at me the way he does Bells, but sometimes you can't help what you want. Even when you know you will never have it."

"Yeah, it fucking sucks," she morosely agrees, shortening her stride so I can keep up without tripping and falling, "But at least he didn't leave you for her, then make you see them together all the damn time while they act like the perfect happy couple who didn't mutually stab you in the back to get where they are. Grind fucking salt and alcohol into the shredded hole where your heart used to be and then have everyone tell you that you're being the unreasonable one because you don't know how many more times you can put yourself through that kind of torture before you decide none of it is worth it anymore."

Understanding floods my psyche and I simply nod, "Yeah, at least I have that."

By the time we reach the clearing, the adults have erected a cluster of tarp pavilions that people are now gathering under. The structures are loosely huddled around the back porch of the house with the entire scene swathed in smoked from the charcoal grills.

Bella is still entrenched with Jake and their friends and I don't want to annoy Leah with my continued presence, so I falter at the fringes of the gathering. Uncertainty glues me in place, and it's not a feeling I enjoy.

I begin to cave and follow Leah, like a pathetic ginger puppy, but she is captured by two older women and dragged away before I can save her. I then contemplate joining Bella for a second time, but I can't muster the strength to endure Jake's adulation of her right now, so I pivot around and stage a full out retreat to my sister's truck.

The clash of cool rain and warm humidity already have the windows completely fogged over as I hunker within the big red beast. I slump into the worn upholstery and busy myself with checking for messages on my phone until a knock on the window nearly rockets me through the roof.

"Sorry about that," I hear Jake chortle as he opens the driver's side door and slides into the cab. He offers me a bright smile whilst he situates himself and shakes the rain from his long braids, "I needed to talk to you for a minute about something important, something I think you are the only person who has the answers I need."

"Sure," my heart promptly begins performing a caffeine fueled rendition of Riverdance in my chest and my palms remember they have sweat glands. I adjust myself into a more upright position and twist to face him fully, "What do you need?"

"I wanted to ask you a very serious question, but I had to wait until no one could hear us talking," his eyes cautiously dart around for a minute and he takes several deep breaths before leaning forward, "Is your sister dating anyone right now? I want to ask her out today, before you guys leave, but I don't want to embarrass myself if she's already with somebody. I don't mean to put you on the spot like this Nessie, so I'm sorry if it's awkward, but if anyone would know if Bella's single, it would be you, right?"

My insides shatter like a mirror slamming into concrete.

"She's not with anyone, as far as I know," I do my best to offer him a smile and hope he can't see the devastation his words have just wrought, "But you should know that Bella doesn't date. She thinks dating in high school is a superfluous distraction reserved for people who can't control their hormones long enough to get a proper education. Her words, not mine."

"Do you think that she might make an exception for me?" the hope in his eyes eviscerates my innards like a thousand serrated blades.

"Anything is possible Jake," I hear myself say even as I want to dissolve into the seat rather than ever speak another word, "All I can say is go find out. And good luck."

"Thanks Ness," he grins and throws the door wide again, "I owe you one, a big one, for this."

"Don't worry about it," I choke out as he leaps out and closes the door, "Free of charge."

The tears begin to fall as his figure is swallowed by the mist and rain.

Eventually the pattering on the roof lulls me into a fitful sleep, only to be jolted awake when Bella climbs into the driver's seat while mimicking an angry ferret.

"I wondered where you wandered off to earlier," she comments whilst starting the truck and flipping on the windshield wipers, "I saw you with Leah before we went to the beach, but you weren't with her when she left a little while ago. That bored?"

"Sure," I draw on my seat-belt and buckle in, "So I'm guessing the bonfire is canceled?"

"Well it turns out fire and water don't play together very well," she bobs her head and puts the beast in gear, "Temperature's dropped at least ten degrees since the rain started too, so now everyone is wet and cold. Not very conducive for a fun evening, so they're rescheduling it for another weekend."

"Cool," I mumble and ignore her glare as I reach for a smoke and light it, "So we're heading home then?"

"Unless there's somewhere else you would like to go," she retorts, still eyeballing the cancer stick in my hand.

"No, I'm good," I assure her then open the window a tad before resting my head against the glass.

We slowly make our way off the reservation and are nearing our section of town when she speaks again, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not right now," I squeeze my eyelids shut to prevent the traitorous tears from escaping again, "I just want to get home and put some dry clothes on. Maybe work on my history essay a bit before heading to bed early."

"I know you know what Jake did tonight," my elder sibling presses and I just want to scream until she goes away.

Instead I shrug a shoulder and flick my ash out of the window, "And I said I don't want to talk about it right now. Not ever, if you want the truth."

"You don't want to talk about it in general, or you don't want to talk to me about it?" Leah was right about the salt and alcohol in the wound. Still, I try not to lose my composure because I know she isn't being deliberately malicious.

"Pick one," I command hoarsely as my fortitude starts to fail me anyway, "Just leave me alone."

"For now," she concedes and allows the sound of rain to fill the air.


End file.
